prawm.

Tons of anticipation,
and a wake up call.

Xavier prom 2009. I spent many, many weeks preparing myself for this mentally, physically, financially... I think i had to go shopping a total of 3 different times to end up with my actual outfit. And I bought like 4 out of 5 of the things at H&M, so i don't know why i had to go back two more times after the first...

In a way though, it's kind of understandable. Right from the get go, when they announced that tickets were on sale and that prom would be on May 29 (my birthday. andnates.), people had already started panicking, brainstorming on what they should wear, and what they should wear with what they've decided to wear. The fact the prom only happens once in a lifetime, for most people anyways, (excluding those ppl who get to go twice cause of an older gf/bf. GOLDIGGERSjustkiddin.) is probably a major contribution to the early havoc. I know it was for me anyways. All of you probably know me as one to not spend generous amounts of money on things other than food, but this was an exception. I constantly caught myself telling myself that it's okay to spend money, "it's prom afterall, might as well." (say myself again. Myself.).

So after having been lucky enough to not get rejected by Sally as a date, i set out to spend over one hundred bucks on prom (can you believe that the ticket was 80 bucks? highwayrobbery.). But i also made sure to only buy things that i would definitely use again. For example, that navy blue skinny tie that i ended up getting, i'm pretty much in love with.

So they day of prom, unlike any of the girls i know who started getting ready at like 3 am (which obv. paid off cuz they looked really good. reallygood.), i started getting ready at like 1 pm, and left the house at 2 pm to go and grab the corsage and boutonniere. Which was pretty much because i spent the entire morning attempting to cut my hair and make it look presentable. I ended up just shaving chunks off of it in the end and just cleaning up what i had ended up with.

So anyways, after picking up the purrrty white roses, i ended up at sally's house where it took us as a team about 5 minutes to figure out how to work a boutonierre. Well, how can you expect us to know how to use one if we've never used one in our life? Maybe other people are just born with the skill...

The following two hours were spent taking pictures at kelly's house, which at the time seemed extremely tiring and verging on too much, but in retrospect, was absolutely necessary and probably could have even gone longer. Because when i look back at the pictures, they make me smile a lot, and i kinda wish there were more to look at.

Man oh man, kelly's dad was so funny when he was taking the pictures, going from every angle, every type of lighting, and capturing every expression. He was the definition of a proud parent, and it was really cute and now because of him i have tons of pics to look at. Thanks kelly's dad. lol.

In case you're wondering what me and sally looked like, feast your eyes on this goodlookin pair (i'm not usually this cocky, but i think we looked pretty decent.)

Before i start talking about prom itself, i have to say that i didn't have extremely high hopes for it in the first place. I was all excited to dress up and to see everyone else dressed up, but i didn't expect the event itself to be particularly engaging for me. Which is mostly because i'm not much of a dancer/partier/clubber.

Boy was i surprised. Although the food took forever to be served and there was a bit of an awkward "what do we do?" two hour time period before the music got going, we killed the time really fast just by taking lots of pictures. Most of which i do not look prsentable in because i just don't know how to take a serious picture, but that's alright, it was fun (there's like two pictures of me with a unibrow, about 7 doing the ginyu force pose, and countless others of me making up faces, howattractive.).

Only a couple of hours later, i found myself dancing my ass off on the dance floor. Albeit, not well, but i had a ball. For some reason,i just came outta my shell and started breaking it down. At least 10 people made fun of my dancing within the hour and a half that i wiggled, shimmied, and shook it, but i never slowed down, except to take a break and grab a drink. Dancing really badly really isn't that big of a deal anyways when everyone else around you is dancing badly as well. No offense guys.

When everything died down, the ppl in my car (nikkoriasallyandi) decided to head over to Bubble Republic on Hurontario (the ol' hangout spot, soasian.), because we thought it would be funny if all of us in our formal attire were to be in the middle of everyone else in casual.

We were not disappointed.

Although ria had changed into a less formal-more-casual dress; nikko, sally, and i were all still head to toe in prom-worthy clothing. I still had on my vest-o, sally still had her nice dress on, and nikko turned on his swagger.

As we walked in the door, the whole room stopped to stare.

Hell-a-fun. I definitely recommend it if you find yourself at the end of a formal event with nothing to do, and feel like being a bit of a dork. Oh yeah, and the bubble tea itself that we had while we were there was pretty good too.

(insert here 24 hours of chillage at nathan's house, too much to even put down.)

Those two days (prom and afterparty), went by way too fast. And i didn't sleep for more than half an hour, because it was all just too much fun.

Right from the beginning, it all felt kinda like a dream. As soon as we started taking the pictures of everyone all dressed up, with their dates, and nice corsages, the first thing that i thought when i looked at all the pretty and handsome faces was: "Everyone looks amazing, i really can't believe how everyone has grown so much in just four long/short years."

And even though this still wasn't the end of the school year, or the end to anything really, i had a bit of that feeling the entire time. Or more accurately, the kinds of thoughts that people get at the end of something.

I couldn't help but think the entire time about just how much i'd come to love each and every one of my friends, acquaintances, not-so-much-friends and even those random people that you see around and school, and don't even know. Because i have spent the last four years of my life with them, going through every day with them, experiencing very similart things with each of them.

In a nutshell, i've just become comfortable with everyone. It's like for the past four years, i've been shimmying myself into that little niche, and now that i've finally found a way to sit comfortable into it, it's coming to an end.

It was really priceless, to just see everyone i know, and everyone i don't know, beaming away. When you break it down, what is prom?

It's a bunch of people in a hall with food and music.

So what was making everyone so happy, and so energetic? It wasn't the hall, becuase i don't know anyone who is particularly impressed with le Treport. It wasn't the food, because i was hearing disapproving grumbles in the tummies of everyone around me all night long, and it probably wasn't the music because no one likes the song "save a horse, ride a cowboy" (whoever you are, you're really not as clever as you think for making that one up, reallynow.).

So what was it? The people. A gathering of everyone in your grade from school really only happens once in a blue moon, or less. So when it comes to pass, the disputes, dislikes, awkardnesses, and hatreds all seem to take a backseat so that everyone can just spend a couple hours enjoying each other's company.

I'm sure everyone can relate to me when i say that at the end of the whole affair, when i got home post-afterparty, i felt like i'd been hit by an eighteen wheeler and just needed to sleep for 17 hours. But i also thought to myself "feeling THIS crappy is definitely worth it considering what i was up to for the past 24 hours".

Prom and afterparty have made me realize that there's nothing we can do about the time that passes, whether we like it or not, everyone's still going to get older, and it's going to happen only faster and faster. The only thing to do is enjoy it to the fullest, even when life hands you a pile of crap.

Oh yeah, and now i'm 18. Hands down best birthday of my life.

If you got this far, please leave a comment, let me know what you thought of the whole experience. One word, or one wall of text, i want to hear it.

Bye-bye.

Song: Thinking of You - Katy Perry

windingdown.

Six out of eleven completed,
I'm almost there.

As of Thursday, i finished my math paper 3 exam. Putting an end to highschool mathematics forever. By now i am completely finished with physics and math, until we meet again in university. I'm hoping though, that all the IB alumni rumours of breezing through first year are true. As per usual, i'm skeptic.

All that remains is chem and french, and these two compared to the physics and math papers, i predict will invoke far fewer emotional breakdowns than the the latter. That mean's i'm done with the worst of it!

Because there's been a lot less class for us recently, it's meant that everyone's gotten to spend a lot more time together. Even though the majority of this quality time was spent worrying and studying, and propagating each other's nerves, it's been really nice to get to know everyone just that much more. Once again, i've noticed how anxiety can really unite people. Everyone's been pretty supportive to each other, helping each other out in their own way. It's a necessity when there's 10-13 papers to be written (Kudos to Zain. howdoyoudoit.).

So even with the pervading anxiety, joking around with people about exams and homework has been a ball.

Exams are winding down now, and there's even more down time coming with it.

Last thursday, since my little brother had to perform in the spring concert, i had to hang around so i could be his ride home. He needed picking up at 9, so i had to occupy myself between the end of school and then. So since glenn and i were pretty much the only ones not IN the concert, we just hung out for like 10 hours.

This ten was divided up into floating around Long and McQuade, just playing on every guitar and drumset we could find, being a mall rat, eating junk food, sitting on the bleachers outside and sneaking in the the music room.

It makes me feel like such a teenager.

Can't wait until everyone's done all the exams. It's just going to make way for even more time to spend with everyone. Even if that time consists of being a mall rat, or sitting around having nothing to do. Boredom isn't boring with you guys.

G'luck to everyone on their remaining exams.

Song: Fifteen - Taylor Swift

unprepared.

I was almost as prepared as possible.
Apparently not.

Today was my first IB exam of eleven exams in total. Being the first, and being math, i have recently been regarding the exam as extra-important to me. I wanted to start off the string of tough exams with a bang. Plus, i've had trouble with math before, so i really wanted to prove to myself that I can do it if i try.

So, as much as i detest studying, and as hard as it is to keep myself focused for long periods of time on school work, I've been biting the bullet and digging my nose in those terrible smelling texts. When i could be blogging away, strumming away, or pwning newbs with Balanar the "Night Stalker", i exercised self control and forced myself to study.

This has been going on for a while now, because i really wanted that feeling of success.

So this morning, when i believed that i had done mostly everything i could to prepare myself, when i could do nearly every question in the review package, and actually understand why i was doing the steps, i was happy as a clam. I was under the impression i was going to go into that exam, and do decently. Maybe not ace it, but pass for certain.

Before the exam, everyone congregated in the hallway outside the library. Everyone was anxious but not scared. We were worried, but not hopeless. After all, we've spent three full semesters, a full year and a half preparing for this exam.

After recieving the exam package, i was actually excited to get started so that i could get it over with.

The exam went terribly. None of the resources available to me helped in more than a miniscule manner. All of the focuses of our three semester course were completely overprioritised by other very obscure topics on the exam paper. In no way was i prepared for the exam that i recieved.

I'm quite livid right now. I feel almost misled. I've been studying past exams for so long, workign into my mind what i should expect, and what i recieved was completely different.

And now, i don't know who's to blame for this impossible exam. Usually i'd blame myself for not being prepared, but seeing as every other math student, even the super-geniuses, have the same mentality as me right now, i honestly do not feel like it's my fault any longer. I think i prepared myself as best as i could.

Sometimes life just does not go your way.

I'll just have to deal with it.

Another math exam tommorow. Yay. this should be fun.

Song: Miss Murder - AFI