The one night all year round that people willingly hand it away.
My elixir of life at every doorstep.
Halloween really isn't the same as it used to be. Every year, the anticipation has been rapidly ebbing away, bringing us to the present, which is free of all anticipation. In fact, i had forgotten about Halloween altogether until Nikko's birthday came along and I thought to myself, "There's something cool near Nikko's birthday... OH YEAH HALLOWEEN."
It's too bad that it's come to this. I really miss the days when i'd be racking my noggin for the bestest costume ideas fruitlessly, dreaming of swimming in candy or showing off my oversized M&M costume (kudos to mom for making that costume, i used it for like three years in a row, never got old. ilovedit.). I was a bit out of place seeing as my friends were always dressed up as hardcore vampires and executioners. It's not very often you see a vampire or executioner in the company of a walking M&M. Oh well, regardless how i might have looked, i liked my M&M costume more than any other costume in the world.
But the absolute greatest part about halloween season was always the actual trick-or-treating. I had it down to a simple science. After many years of experience, i created an intricate mental map of my neighbourhood. I knew which houses gave chips, which ones gave chocolate, and most importantly, which ones gave both. There weren't many that gave both, i can tell you that.
But somehow, Halloween just doesn't feel the same. I was manning the fort today, while my parents caught up on some much needed rest, and I handed out a total of maybe 20 candies? I only had to answer the door like 6 times. Now, i'm not complaining that i wanted to get off my lazy bum more than 6 times (i was quite comfortable playing my game of DOTA. tecchiesftw.). It's just a bit of a change from the usual locust cloud that comes crashing towards our door every year. I guess the bright side is that i have more candy for myself.
All that said, i had a pretty good Halloween this year. It may not have been candy filled, or black and orange but it was pretty decent. A shepherd's pie dinner, a couple games of DOTA and a nice, refreshing powernap all contributed to an above average night for me. Maybe what's actually changing is not Halloween itself, but the way i'm spending my halloweens. (shouldagonetrickortreatin.).
iwantcandy.
This blog was babbled while watching the movie - Untracable (don't watch it.)
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
cravings.
I am such an addictive person.
It gets to the point of ridiculousness sometimes.
I cannot go through a single day without having at least one monster craving. And i definitely do not use the term "monster craving" lightly. The worst thing about these monster cravings, is that they hit me like a lightning bolt. I'll just be walking down a hall at school, and all of a sudden, i just stop, shiver mentally and then my mind focuses on this ONE thing until i get it or until i get sufficiently distracted from it, which by the way is quite difficult to accomplish.
It's pretty annoying too. It usually gets in the way of my day. It's like someone put blinders on me and sent me off in the wrong direction.
Usually it's for food, and that's a pretty easy one to satisfy. All i have to do is wait until i get home and dive into a bowl of cookie dough or head over to Rabba and blow off ten bucks on Twix bars. The only problem with those cravings is that it's probably ridiculously unhealthy for me.
But what i'm actually talking about here; the craving that really puts a dent in my day, is the one for sleep. There's no possible way to cure that other than to, well, sleep. The thing about sleep is... it's such a waste of time, but when i need it, i really do need it. This doesn't cooperate very well my fourth period french class. I keep catching myself nodding off and collapsing almost onto Glenn's nearby shoulder (which, by the way, i'm sure is quite comfortable. goodonyoumate.).
I try everything to get my brain back into gear whenever this happens. I'm commonly seen self-slapping, self-pinching, or my least favourite, but most painful and therefore effective, self-biting. Unfortunately, each of these remedies usually results in only a short term consciousness, but long term pain. Also, it can make for some awkward situations when people see me biting myself... aheh...
The other kind of craving that i get that's particularily distracting is one for a good mark on a test (haha. you guys know where this is going. ahhpooie.). The thing about this craving, is that it's not quite as easily achieved as the two previously listed. It's not quickly remedied by a light snack, or a power nap. On the contrary, the solution in question is a much more complex, and long process including swimming through torrents of notes and concepts, and deciphering crpytic chemical formulas. All this just to acquire an amount of knowledge only sufficient to scrape a pass. And even then, there's the begging for marks that comes afterwards (lolgwen.).
These cravings... they aren't temporary. They're pretty much the summary of my academic career. A constant starvation, famine.
Anywhoooo i hope i don't sound to complainy, it's just a random observation i've made recently. (hopefullyyoualldon'tfeelthesameway.)
hopinforsevens.
This was written while listening to: Make it Mine - Jason Mraz
It gets to the point of ridiculousness sometimes.
I cannot go through a single day without having at least one monster craving. And i definitely do not use the term "monster craving" lightly. The worst thing about these monster cravings, is that they hit me like a lightning bolt. I'll just be walking down a hall at school, and all of a sudden, i just stop, shiver mentally and then my mind focuses on this ONE thing until i get it or until i get sufficiently distracted from it, which by the way is quite difficult to accomplish.
It's pretty annoying too. It usually gets in the way of my day. It's like someone put blinders on me and sent me off in the wrong direction.
Usually it's for food, and that's a pretty easy one to satisfy. All i have to do is wait until i get home and dive into a bowl of cookie dough or head over to Rabba and blow off ten bucks on Twix bars. The only problem with those cravings is that it's probably ridiculously unhealthy for me.
But what i'm actually talking about here; the craving that really puts a dent in my day, is the one for sleep. There's no possible way to cure that other than to, well, sleep. The thing about sleep is... it's such a waste of time, but when i need it, i really do need it. This doesn't cooperate very well my fourth period french class. I keep catching myself nodding off and collapsing almost onto Glenn's nearby shoulder (which, by the way, i'm sure is quite comfortable. goodonyoumate.).
I try everything to get my brain back into gear whenever this happens. I'm commonly seen self-slapping, self-pinching, or my least favourite, but most painful and therefore effective, self-biting. Unfortunately, each of these remedies usually results in only a short term consciousness, but long term pain. Also, it can make for some awkward situations when people see me biting myself... aheh...
The other kind of craving that i get that's particularily distracting is one for a good mark on a test (haha. you guys know where this is going. ahhpooie.). The thing about this craving, is that it's not quite as easily achieved as the two previously listed. It's not quickly remedied by a light snack, or a power nap. On the contrary, the solution in question is a much more complex, and long process including swimming through torrents of notes and concepts, and deciphering crpytic chemical formulas. All this just to acquire an amount of knowledge only sufficient to scrape a pass. And even then, there's the begging for marks that comes afterwards (lolgwen.).
These cravings... they aren't temporary. They're pretty much the summary of my academic career. A constant starvation, famine.
Anywhoooo i hope i don't sound to complainy, it's just a random observation i've made recently. (hopefullyyoualldon'tfeelthesameway.)
hopinforsevens.
This was written while listening to: Make it Mine - Jason Mraz
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
notquite.
I was more convincing myself than anyone else.
But in the end i really didn't need that much convincing.
Kay so. It was supposed to be yesterday that the results for cafe night were to be posted. But, they weren't. And so all of the hopefuls (and those of us who already knew they were gonna make it. welldone.) had to wait an extra day to verify whether or not they'd be the ones pooping themselves on stage about a month from now. The posting was postponed until today.
Last night, i had about a dozen conversations with different people, each of which included the topic of cafe night. And each time, i was told "there's no doubt about it, you made it!" Honestly, having so much support from everybody felt quite good. But it didn't really convince me that i indeed had made it. I knew from the start that if you're not incredibly talented, then it's all one giant popularity contest. And i wouldn't go so far as to say i'm incredibly talented. Therefore, when it comes down the popularity aspect, since i'm not the best of friends with our very own world class DECA executives, i'm the little guy, and i lose out.
I might sound a little resentful, but that's not the case. Of course i'm a little disappointed. I would have much preferred being in the show, but i think i never got my hopes up in the first place so there wasn't much to come tearing down.
A little tidbit of a story to describe how i found out this morning. The two girls who were putting up the results, did so at around 7:45, the same time that i went to check them. Nothing wrong with that so far. But for some reason, they hadn't considered the fact that you need something adhesive to post results. Unfortunately for them, their stubborn sheet of paper just would not stick to the wall. Unfortunately for me, it was about 5 more minutes until they finally got a hold of some tape, and then at that time they spent another minute straightening out the edges. I wanted to ninja chop them. They definitely knew i was waiting to see the results and still took their sweet time. Anways, i looked at the results, and headed off to class.
There are some things that you want really badly at one point in time. And when the time comes that you can't have it... you would still love to have it but you can definitely live without it. (hopethatmakessense)
justkeepsingin.
ranted while listening to: coffee and cigarettes - augustana.
(i love it when you guys leave comments. it makes me so happy. pleasedo!:D)
But in the end i really didn't need that much convincing.
Kay so. It was supposed to be yesterday that the results for cafe night were to be posted. But, they weren't. And so all of the hopefuls (and those of us who already knew they were gonna make it. welldone.) had to wait an extra day to verify whether or not they'd be the ones pooping themselves on stage about a month from now. The posting was postponed until today.
Last night, i had about a dozen conversations with different people, each of which included the topic of cafe night. And each time, i was told "there's no doubt about it, you made it!" Honestly, having so much support from everybody felt quite good. But it didn't really convince me that i indeed had made it. I knew from the start that if you're not incredibly talented, then it's all one giant popularity contest. And i wouldn't go so far as to say i'm incredibly talented. Therefore, when it comes down the popularity aspect, since i'm not the best of friends with our very own world class DECA executives, i'm the little guy, and i lose out.
I might sound a little resentful, but that's not the case. Of course i'm a little disappointed. I would have much preferred being in the show, but i think i never got my hopes up in the first place so there wasn't much to come tearing down.
A little tidbit of a story to describe how i found out this morning. The two girls who were putting up the results, did so at around 7:45, the same time that i went to check them. Nothing wrong with that so far. But for some reason, they hadn't considered the fact that you need something adhesive to post results. Unfortunately for them, their stubborn sheet of paper just would not stick to the wall. Unfortunately for me, it was about 5 more minutes until they finally got a hold of some tape, and then at that time they spent another minute straightening out the edges. I wanted to ninja chop them. They definitely knew i was waiting to see the results and still took their sweet time. Anways, i looked at the results, and headed off to class.
There are some things that you want really badly at one point in time. And when the time comes that you can't have it... you would still love to have it but you can definitely live without it. (hopethatmakessense)
justkeepsingin.
ranted while listening to: coffee and cigarettes - augustana.
(i love it when you guys leave comments. it makes me so happy. pleasedo!:D)
Sunday, October 19, 2008
missedthedantarts.
Yeah i always tell myself i should do this more.
Do i actually listen to myself? Pfft. never.
I just finished one of the longest weekends of my life. And contrary to what even i would expect of myself, most of what i have to say about it isn't complaints or rants... But there's still those too.
Recently, each day has been progressing in almost the exact same fashion. I get home, unpack my bags, grab a quick bite of last night's rice and peas and play a quick song on the piano to wake myself up. Then i head up to my room, toss my bag onto my unmade bed, steal a quick look at my agenda and whiteboard, and then decide what there is to do that i actually DO have time for.
But i think i'm giving myself more credit than i actually deserve. Don't get me wrong, i work hard. But am i working as hard as i possibly can? Hard enough that i can actually be proud of myself before i fall asleep? that's the better question i think.
I'd say usually, it's almost a yes, but not quite. But this week, after sitting my ass in that hard wood chair in my kitchen for about 18 hours in two days, i'm gonna have to say that i am genuinely proud of how much work i put into things this weekend. I actually skipped out on going down to Markham to have dimsum with the fam. Although when they got back it sounds like the amazing dan tarts took precedence in their minds over the empty chair.
Included in this weekend's agenda was the monster of a scholarship that i've been working on. The thing about this one, is that of all the scholarships i've heard of, seen, looked at; it's the one that i want the most. It's probably because it's quite competitive and i would really feel good about myself if i won it. A little bit of a morality boost is welcomed with open arms these days.
In this scholarship, like any other, i have to sell myself (haha. very funny, i know what you're thinking.youthinkyou'resofunny). I wouldn't call myself the most humble of all people, and i wouldn't call myself the most cocky of all people, but either way, i definitely had a rough time trying to yank out all of the impressive things about myself. Even more difficult is trying to present all the things about me that are impressive... in an impressive manner that makes me shine out from a group of impressive people competing for an impressive scholarship. Yeah i've had a lot of time to think about this over the weekend.
Alltogether, all of this work this weekend was so worth it. Even if i don't win this scholarship I still feel pretty good about myself for having worked so hard at something... anything. I just need to get my ass down on a chair to do this more often. (bunsofsteel.)
comeonjusyoucandothis.
Stressed over while listening to : Tongue Tied - October Fall
(Hopefully "Kinkeejou's Garden of Random Scribbles" will be up soon. It's a team blog, so far with authors: Justin, Glenn, Sean = Glustinean).
Do i actually listen to myself? Pfft. never.
I just finished one of the longest weekends of my life. And contrary to what even i would expect of myself, most of what i have to say about it isn't complaints or rants... But there's still those too.
Recently, each day has been progressing in almost the exact same fashion. I get home, unpack my bags, grab a quick bite of last night's rice and peas and play a quick song on the piano to wake myself up. Then i head up to my room, toss my bag onto my unmade bed, steal a quick look at my agenda and whiteboard, and then decide what there is to do that i actually DO have time for.
But i think i'm giving myself more credit than i actually deserve. Don't get me wrong, i work hard. But am i working as hard as i possibly can? Hard enough that i can actually be proud of myself before i fall asleep? that's the better question i think.
I'd say usually, it's almost a yes, but not quite. But this week, after sitting my ass in that hard wood chair in my kitchen for about 18 hours in two days, i'm gonna have to say that i am genuinely proud of how much work i put into things this weekend. I actually skipped out on going down to Markham to have dimsum with the fam. Although when they got back it sounds like the amazing dan tarts took precedence in their minds over the empty chair.
Included in this weekend's agenda was the monster of a scholarship that i've been working on. The thing about this one, is that of all the scholarships i've heard of, seen, looked at; it's the one that i want the most. It's probably because it's quite competitive and i would really feel good about myself if i won it. A little bit of a morality boost is welcomed with open arms these days.
In this scholarship, like any other, i have to sell myself (haha. very funny, i know what you're thinking.youthinkyou'resofunny). I wouldn't call myself the most humble of all people, and i wouldn't call myself the most cocky of all people, but either way, i definitely had a rough time trying to yank out all of the impressive things about myself. Even more difficult is trying to present all the things about me that are impressive... in an impressive manner that makes me shine out from a group of impressive people competing for an impressive scholarship. Yeah i've had a lot of time to think about this over the weekend.
Alltogether, all of this work this weekend was so worth it. Even if i don't win this scholarship I still feel pretty good about myself for having worked so hard at something... anything. I just need to get my ass down on a chair to do this more often. (bunsofsteel.)
comeonjusyoucandothis.
Stressed over while listening to : Tongue Tied - October Fall
(Hopefully "Kinkeejou's Garden of Random Scribbles" will be up soon. It's a team blog, so far with authors: Justin, Glenn, Sean = Glustinean).
Friday, October 17, 2008
nervousnervousnervous.
Ever gone after a small goal, but when you actually finished it,
it felt a lot better than you'd first thought? nuff said.
Since grade nine, I've wanted to be in cafe night, or at least perform in something around the school. And for about the same amount of time, people, namely Glenn have been badgering me to do an act with them (actually not quite, i didn't really know Glenn as anyone more than "that cool guy in Geodude's class until a bit later. dumbjustin.). Well, I soon became an expert at dodging bullets, because for every year up until this one, the closest i've come to being in an act was falling out of my chair in the front row of the audience, all by myself, while waiting for friends, only to have a bunch of niner girls who i didn't know at all laugh their behinds off in my general direction. scarring.
I guess I was either too lazy or too scared, or a combination of both. No, I lied, i was just scared. I'm generally a lazy person but something as cool as being in a cafe night show would definitely be incentive enough to get up off my ass.
Seems like i'm scared of a lot of things in life, that's twice in a row i'm blogging about fear. i'mapansy.
It feels so rational to be scared of performing. All those bodies, all those eyes, all those stares, all those expectations all those disappointments. Of course the majority of us would rather not deal with these things. And i'm no odd one out, in fact, i get the butterflies a hundred times worse than the next person. That crippling paralysis is what has caused me to take a step back every year when the call for auditions is sent out. This year i had decided to break the chain. "I'll pick the most amazing song, i'll sing it amazingly, i'll rock at the guitar, and the crowd will love me."
iquitted.
I didn't do that. I didn't find any perfect song, i didn't practice the guitar to perfection and i was still too scared to even perform in front of my homemade audience comprised of various stuffed animals. So basically, i was headed in the direction of a fourth consecutive miss, and during my graduating year. Luckily i have Glenn. At first it took a great deal of nagging to even get a "maybe" out of me. But of course he got it, and he kept asking, and nagging until finally, i decided that i would break the chain. I was going to audition for cafe night.
The song was Tisbury Lane by Mae. I'd stumbled upon the song about a month or two earlier, and i loved it right from the start, so it seemed like the natural choice. Coincidentally, it was one of Glenn's favourites too. So we practiced it a couple of times, and signed ourselves up for the auditions. (I was vocals, and Glenn was guitar. whatwasithinkin)
First off: holycrap.
The auditions were in the drama room, a pretty big classroom with mini bleachers so that everyone is looking down at the center of the room, where the performers do their thang, there were about a quintillion people auditioning, and all the best singers in the school were there to perform an act. You can imagine just how all of those three things added up to make me feel like an insignificant pixel on a giant screen with darn good resolution. It was bad. I've already got a lot of experience with performances because of my piano studies, but somehow that hasn't made things any easier. My heart pounded so damn fast and heavy, it sounded like a war drum from a fantasy novel.
When it was our turn to perform, it was basically the same feelings but multiplied by a hundred. Things are always more scarier than they seem, and when you reach a certain point, the fear starts to evapourate, and you finally have control of your body again. As soon as i belted out that first off-key note, i realized there was no point in being scared any more, i might as well do what i need to do.
Glenn played amazingly. Me, no comment. I was adequate at best.
Now at the end of the whole auditioning process, i'd still be happy with myself even if i didn't make it into the actual cafe night program (and i wouldn't be surprised, there were some damn good performers. jealousjealous). That would just be a huge bonus. I finally, after four long years got over myself and put myself out there. I may have felt a little bit vulnerable, and stupid, but it's about time i make some changes, make some noise. (makeitloud)
wishmeluck?
Sung out while listening to: Hero/Heroine - Boys Like Girls.
(don't forget to follow my blog! if you haven't yet, take a couple o' seconds to click the "follow this blog" button on the right side of the page. A stalked Justin is a happy Justin. usuallykinda.)
it felt a lot better than you'd first thought? nuff said.
Since grade nine, I've wanted to be in cafe night, or at least perform in something around the school. And for about the same amount of time, people, namely Glenn have been badgering me to do an act with them (actually not quite, i didn't really know Glenn as anyone more than "that cool guy in Geodude's class until a bit later. dumbjustin.). Well, I soon became an expert at dodging bullets, because for every year up until this one, the closest i've come to being in an act was falling out of my chair in the front row of the audience, all by myself, while waiting for friends, only to have a bunch of niner girls who i didn't know at all laugh their behinds off in my general direction. scarring.
I guess I was either too lazy or too scared, or a combination of both. No, I lied, i was just scared. I'm generally a lazy person but something as cool as being in a cafe night show would definitely be incentive enough to get up off my ass.
Seems like i'm scared of a lot of things in life, that's twice in a row i'm blogging about fear. i'mapansy.
It feels so rational to be scared of performing. All those bodies, all those eyes, all those stares, all those expectations all those disappointments. Of course the majority of us would rather not deal with these things. And i'm no odd one out, in fact, i get the butterflies a hundred times worse than the next person. That crippling paralysis is what has caused me to take a step back every year when the call for auditions is sent out. This year i had decided to break the chain. "I'll pick the most amazing song, i'll sing it amazingly, i'll rock at the guitar, and the crowd will love me."
iquitted.
I didn't do that. I didn't find any perfect song, i didn't practice the guitar to perfection and i was still too scared to even perform in front of my homemade audience comprised of various stuffed animals. So basically, i was headed in the direction of a fourth consecutive miss, and during my graduating year. Luckily i have Glenn. At first it took a great deal of nagging to even get a "maybe" out of me. But of course he got it, and he kept asking, and nagging until finally, i decided that i would break the chain. I was going to audition for cafe night.
The song was Tisbury Lane by Mae. I'd stumbled upon the song about a month or two earlier, and i loved it right from the start, so it seemed like the natural choice. Coincidentally, it was one of Glenn's favourites too. So we practiced it a couple of times, and signed ourselves up for the auditions. (I was vocals, and Glenn was guitar. whatwasithinkin)
First off: holycrap.
The auditions were in the drama room, a pretty big classroom with mini bleachers so that everyone is looking down at the center of the room, where the performers do their thang, there were about a quintillion people auditioning, and all the best singers in the school were there to perform an act. You can imagine just how all of those three things added up to make me feel like an insignificant pixel on a giant screen with darn good resolution. It was bad. I've already got a lot of experience with performances because of my piano studies, but somehow that hasn't made things any easier. My heart pounded so damn fast and heavy, it sounded like a war drum from a fantasy novel.
When it was our turn to perform, it was basically the same feelings but multiplied by a hundred. Things are always more scarier than they seem, and when you reach a certain point, the fear starts to evapourate, and you finally have control of your body again. As soon as i belted out that first off-key note, i realized there was no point in being scared any more, i might as well do what i need to do.
Glenn played amazingly. Me, no comment. I was adequate at best.
Now at the end of the whole auditioning process, i'd still be happy with myself even if i didn't make it into the actual cafe night program (and i wouldn't be surprised, there were some damn good performers. jealousjealous). That would just be a huge bonus. I finally, after four long years got over myself and put myself out there. I may have felt a little bit vulnerable, and stupid, but it's about time i make some changes, make some noise. (makeitloud)
wishmeluck?
Sung out while listening to: Hero/Heroine - Boys Like Girls.
(don't forget to follow my blog! if you haven't yet, take a couple o' seconds to click the "follow this blog" button on the right side of the page. A stalked Justin is a happy Justin. usuallykinda.)
Sunday, October 12, 2008
fearfallsandfamily.
Before i get started, i just wanna take a quick second to say thanks to everyone who's been reading my blogs. Wow. you make me feel special. i think i have too many feelings.
Niagara Falls summed up in a sentence: H2O, rocks, and kinetic motion. But they're beautiful (the Canadian falls are like a hundred times more awesome. it'ssotrue.).
Family summed up in a sentence: Brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents, etc. But they're priceless
Second day of thanksgiving weekend. My loud and borderline overly energetic family decides at midday that we're going to see the falls (when we just had a thanksgiving dinner last night, and i had only gotten to bed at around 2AM. buti'mnotcomplaining.). I welcome any oppourtunity to just get out of the house, even though i've been to niagara (hehehe. soundslikeviagra.) like a bajillion times before. Since there were about twenty cousins, uncles, etc. going, i just couldn't turn the trip down, in fact i was pretty darn excited to get there.
Car ride was a drag, i slept the whole way. s'all i have to say bout that.
Rocksnwatah: It's pretty interesting if you take the time to think about it, how something extremely simple in its nature can divert so much attention. Water and rocks in themselves, are really nothing that exciting. On the other hand, vast amounts of two simple things with a couple of haunted houses and casinos thrown into the equation sums up to quite the provocative tourist destination. Sometimes, we humans don't appreciate the awesomeness of nature, or anything for that matter until it's staring us right in the eye. Whether it be in the form of a hundred-and-sixty-seven-foot waterfall. Or whether it be in the form of something being lost altogether, a friend, an old teddy bear. I feel like I'm blind seeing as things constantly have to be made crystal clear to me before i can fully appreciate it, or stop taking it for granted. The falls are just a bunch of rocks and a crapload of water, but it's one of the most amazing things I've ever seen.
Pitchblack: My uncle likes to see his kids, nephews and nieces squirm. I'm gonna be like him when i grow up.There's like 5 different haunted houses in the city, and at every single one, my uncle literally pushed us to do it. when people start nagging me, i almost always give in (don't you ppl dare start nagging me. naggingnaggers...). So me, my little brother, Brianna and Bradley Hugh (yeshhh he was named after me. iwinyay.) bought level three "hardcore live action" tickets to Dracula's Haunted Castle. I've never felt someone, or rather three people grip so tightly to various spots on my body. I could barely walk, and inability to walk + stairs = epicfail. The castle itself wasn't very scary at all. The displays that they had were the usual disfigured, hanged hunchbacks and bloody huge axes (axes that had blood on them, AND axes that were darn big. iconfusemyself.). But those didn't frighten me. The scariest thing was knowing that an actor was gonna reach out and caress me unexpectedly. idon'tlikebeingcaressed. I was turning a corner and next thing you know it the guy starts growling at me, and lancing threats at me that resembled the following (these threats have been translated to proper english from the outdated language of werewolf/dracula/19-year-old-actor) "I will imminently slash your throat, wereby ending your life. Following said action, i will consume your corpse" to which i responded by saying something along the lines of "OH PLEASE DO IT (insert fakely excited and smiling face here)". Then the guy reached his arm out and grabbed my neck. Scared the heck out of me but i didn't let my cousins know.
The rest of the house was kinda poopy. By poopy i mean not scary, and long. It was a bunch of dolls being killed and stuff, but when it comes down to it the only thing that really scared me was that wolfman yelling at me and surprising me.
I'm pretty sure i was the most freaked out too, because i was right in the front; he touched me the most.
I noticed two things at the end of the haunted house.
1. Even though i am only one or two years older than my cousins, they all looked to me and grouped around me, as if i were to lead them through the house of fears. Even though it wasn't actually anything to be afraid of in reality, i still felt quite content with myself that my cousins see me in the light of a protecting figure. So i did my best to act the part by not peeing my pants. ididn'tpeemypants.
2. The most scary thing in life to me and a lot of others is surprises. When you don't know what to expect, you can expect anything, and that's the heart of fear. When i start to think about the things that really scare me, right there at the top of the list is university. I don't know what i will be doing, let alone what i want to do. I don't know which universities are good for the things that i don't want to do. I don't know who i'll meet, who i'll forget. What i'll eat, where i'll live, or if i'll even survive the four years. All of this scares the living daylights out of me. The things that will be surprises, the things that i'm unsure of right now.
Those were just a couple of things that i noticed, and thought i'd get down on paper (or a screen). I guess i'm trying to tell myself i need to not take what i have for granted, and that i need to not be afraid of the future. Everything will come together. (Ihopeso.)
stillabitscared.
This was written while watching: "There Will Be Blood"
(If you finished this blog, kudos to you, this one was especially long. youdeserveamedal.)
Niagara Falls summed up in a sentence: H2O, rocks, and kinetic motion. But they're beautiful (the Canadian falls are like a hundred times more awesome. it'ssotrue.).
Family summed up in a sentence: Brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents, etc. But they're priceless
Second day of thanksgiving weekend. My loud and borderline overly energetic family decides at midday that we're going to see the falls (when we just had a thanksgiving dinner last night, and i had only gotten to bed at around 2AM. buti'mnotcomplaining.). I welcome any oppourtunity to just get out of the house, even though i've been to niagara (hehehe. soundslikeviagra.) like a bajillion times before. Since there were about twenty cousins, uncles, etc. going, i just couldn't turn the trip down, in fact i was pretty darn excited to get there.
Car ride was a drag, i slept the whole way. s'all i have to say bout that.
Rocksnwatah: It's pretty interesting if you take the time to think about it, how something extremely simple in its nature can divert so much attention. Water and rocks in themselves, are really nothing that exciting. On the other hand, vast amounts of two simple things with a couple of haunted houses and casinos thrown into the equation sums up to quite the provocative tourist destination. Sometimes, we humans don't appreciate the awesomeness of nature, or anything for that matter until it's staring us right in the eye. Whether it be in the form of a hundred-and-sixty-seven-foot waterfall. Or whether it be in the form of something being lost altogether, a friend, an old teddy bear. I feel like I'm blind seeing as things constantly have to be made crystal clear to me before i can fully appreciate it, or stop taking it for granted. The falls are just a bunch of rocks and a crapload of water, but it's one of the most amazing things I've ever seen.
Pitchblack: My uncle likes to see his kids, nephews and nieces squirm. I'm gonna be like him when i grow up.There's like 5 different haunted houses in the city, and at every single one, my uncle literally pushed us to do it. when people start nagging me, i almost always give in (don't you ppl dare start nagging me. naggingnaggers...). So me, my little brother, Brianna and Bradley Hugh (yeshhh he was named after me. iwinyay.) bought level three "hardcore live action" tickets to Dracula's Haunted Castle. I've never felt someone, or rather three people grip so tightly to various spots on my body. I could barely walk, and inability to walk + stairs = epicfail. The castle itself wasn't very scary at all. The displays that they had were the usual disfigured, hanged hunchbacks and bloody huge axes (axes that had blood on them, AND axes that were darn big. iconfusemyself.). But those didn't frighten me. The scariest thing was knowing that an actor was gonna reach out and caress me unexpectedly. idon'tlikebeingcaressed. I was turning a corner and next thing you know it the guy starts growling at me, and lancing threats at me that resembled the following (these threats have been translated to proper english from the outdated language of werewolf/dracula/19-year-old-actor) "I will imminently slash your throat, wereby ending your life. Following said action, i will consume your corpse" to which i responded by saying something along the lines of "OH PLEASE DO IT (insert fakely excited and smiling face here)". Then the guy reached his arm out and grabbed my neck. Scared the heck out of me but i didn't let my cousins know.
The rest of the house was kinda poopy. By poopy i mean not scary, and long. It was a bunch of dolls being killed and stuff, but when it comes down to it the only thing that really scared me was that wolfman yelling at me and surprising me.
I'm pretty sure i was the most freaked out too, because i was right in the front; he touched me the most.
I noticed two things at the end of the haunted house.
1. Even though i am only one or two years older than my cousins, they all looked to me and grouped around me, as if i were to lead them through the house of fears. Even though it wasn't actually anything to be afraid of in reality, i still felt quite content with myself that my cousins see me in the light of a protecting figure. So i did my best to act the part by not peeing my pants. ididn'tpeemypants.
2. The most scary thing in life to me and a lot of others is surprises. When you don't know what to expect, you can expect anything, and that's the heart of fear. When i start to think about the things that really scare me, right there at the top of the list is university. I don't know what i will be doing, let alone what i want to do. I don't know which universities are good for the things that i don't want to do. I don't know who i'll meet, who i'll forget. What i'll eat, where i'll live, or if i'll even survive the four years. All of this scares the living daylights out of me. The things that will be surprises, the things that i'm unsure of right now.
Those were just a couple of things that i noticed, and thought i'd get down on paper (or a screen). I guess i'm trying to tell myself i need to not take what i have for granted, and that i need to not be afraid of the future. Everything will come together. (Ihopeso.)
stillabitscared.
This was written while watching: "There Will Be Blood"
(If you finished this blog, kudos to you, this one was especially long. youdeserveamedal.)
Saturday, October 11, 2008
diamondsareforever?
they're shiny, they're pretty, they're expensive, they're status symbols.
THEY'RE ROCKS.
Thanksgiving dinner. As you may have been able to predict due to my previous post, a couple things about the event itself rubbed me the wrong way, but for the most part, it was more than a pleasure just to spend time with my huge family (my uncle with a really strong Jamaican accent was there today. totallyawesome.). To top it all off, we played a 14 person game of Mafia. iknowright?
Through the course of the night, two things got me thinking: I played this game with my little cousin where i looked through her yearbook and guessed who her friends were based on just their mugs. Sad thing is, i got the majority of them right. Second, my other cousin got these beautiful diamond ear rings from her boyfriend. They were Beautiful. I saw them myself.
before i continue: i don't want people to take what comes next the wrong way. Both of these cousins, i absolutely love to death, and they are like... the most greatest-est people on the face of the planet. There's just a couple things that i've noticed we're not quite parallel in.
i looked at faces: It was so fun. I was going at lightning speed, my eyes barely hovering over each person's face before predicting a "yup!" or "HELL NO". To which my cousin would respond "she's my bee-eff-eff-ehll" or "DAMN STRAIGHT!". She was surprised with just how many i got correct. So was I. It's kinda weird that i was able to do this, and i also didn't really like that either. I began to notice patterns, right from the beginning of the people that she didn't associate herself with, and the ones she did. The rest was cake (with cream cheese icing. yummyums.). I don't think that this game would be quite as easy in reverse fashion, and that's something i take pride in. I am very conscious of the types of friends that i have, but my requirements, I try to keep disassociated from a person's mugshot. I'm gonna challenge my cousin to this game, and i'll get back to you guys when she fails.
shiny rocks: Before i get to saying that i'll probably never own a diamond watch, or diamond grillz (teehee.), i must say, they were damn nice. But the thing that got me thinking, is that with the help of the whole family, we spent a good thirty three minutes talking about them. Yes they're pretty, yes they're shiny, yes they're expensive, and we all adored them for that. But, i don't understand how some people can spend their lives chasing after these things. Spend their savings chasing after these things. Lose sight of what's really important chasing after these things. People chase, chase, chase, and when they finally make the catch they realize, "oh. it'sarock." Why do people put so much priority in the materials? in rocks? I've caught myself doing this more than once (not with diamonds. can you say, fivepiecesofexodia?). But i know that there's many things that are more important, and for fear of falling into a chase, i veer away.
Everyone chases after their diamonds. I've already found my diamonds, but they're living and breathing (andtheyknowwhotheyare).
diamondsAREforever.
This was composed while listening to: I Just Want You - AJ. Rafael. (he's awesome)
THEY'RE ROCKS.
Thanksgiving dinner. As you may have been able to predict due to my previous post, a couple things about the event itself rubbed me the wrong way, but for the most part, it was more than a pleasure just to spend time with my huge family (my uncle with a really strong Jamaican accent was there today. totallyawesome.). To top it all off, we played a 14 person game of Mafia. iknowright?
Through the course of the night, two things got me thinking: I played this game with my little cousin where i looked through her yearbook and guessed who her friends were based on just their mugs. Sad thing is, i got the majority of them right. Second, my other cousin got these beautiful diamond ear rings from her boyfriend. They were Beautiful. I saw them myself.
before i continue: i don't want people to take what comes next the wrong way. Both of these cousins, i absolutely love to death, and they are like... the most greatest-est people on the face of the planet. There's just a couple things that i've noticed we're not quite parallel in.
i looked at faces: It was so fun. I was going at lightning speed, my eyes barely hovering over each person's face before predicting a "yup!" or "HELL NO". To which my cousin would respond "she's my bee-eff-eff-ehll" or "DAMN STRAIGHT!". She was surprised with just how many i got correct. So was I. It's kinda weird that i was able to do this, and i also didn't really like that either. I began to notice patterns, right from the beginning of the people that she didn't associate herself with, and the ones she did. The rest was cake (with cream cheese icing. yummyums.). I don't think that this game would be quite as easy in reverse fashion, and that's something i take pride in. I am very conscious of the types of friends that i have, but my requirements, I try to keep disassociated from a person's mugshot. I'm gonna challenge my cousin to this game, and i'll get back to you guys when she fails.
shiny rocks: Before i get to saying that i'll probably never own a diamond watch, or diamond grillz (teehee.), i must say, they were damn nice. But the thing that got me thinking, is that with the help of the whole family, we spent a good thirty three minutes talking about them. Yes they're pretty, yes they're shiny, yes they're expensive, and we all adored them for that. But, i don't understand how some people can spend their lives chasing after these things. Spend their savings chasing after these things. Lose sight of what's really important chasing after these things. People chase, chase, chase, and when they finally make the catch they realize, "oh. it'sarock." Why do people put so much priority in the materials? in rocks? I've caught myself doing this more than once (not with diamonds. can you say, fivepiecesofexodia?). But i know that there's many things that are more important, and for fear of falling into a chase, i veer away.
Everyone chases after their diamonds. I've already found my diamonds, but they're living and breathing (andtheyknowwhotheyare).
diamondsAREforever.
This was composed while listening to: I Just Want You - AJ. Rafael. (he's awesome)
jointheparade.
My goal for this blog is to have the background completely crowded with various creatures and creations. But they don't all necessarily have to be mine. Be a part of my blog :P send me a scribble of yours, and unless it really sucks, i'll probably slap it onto the background. Only two things required, black and white only, and the background has to be solid white.
nowit'sovertoyou.
nowit'sovertoyou.
thanksforyourgiving.
i've kinda always wondered why we even have thanksgiving.
why do we need to assign a day for thanks?
Saturday of thanksgiving weekend. I just got back from a short, spontaneous apple picking adventure (one orchard wanted to charge us $2.5o a person just to enter. As you can imagine, we ditched and found a more desperate orchard, charge free. stickittotheman.) I was the DD for the trip and as i was tailing a big black SUV who was driving way too slowly down our side of the valley, and i thought to myself "no justin, be nice, it's thanksgiving weekend".
Where did thanksgiving even come from? (i wiki-ed it so i could seem all smart, having done my research, but that was fruitless because they used a whole bunch of big words which i didn't understand. was'nthelpfulatall.) To me, it really doesn't make much sense that people have to designate a certain day a year to give thanks. Why do people have to be so insensitive, uncaring, disconnected, numb, that they can't give thanks throughout the year, throughout the day? No, we have to force it out of everyone once a year to give thanks, and even that comes with the Turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce bribe. Let's be honest with ourselves, how many people would actually celebrate thanksgiving if it wasn't associated with huge, tasty dinners? Sure, there are the select few, but i'm quite sure it just wouldn't be quite as popular.
As the years pass (and i'm only 17). I'm realizing that the world is slowly becoming a more cold place. I remember during halloween as a kid, most of my 8 year old friends could make their rounds with just a couple of other zombie and vampire friends. But these days, i doubt you'll see a kid without a parent more than a pitchfork's length away. And this is what i'm seeing all year round, people are slowly becoming less friendly, less honest, less thankful. Maybe it's just me who's seeing this, and i'm not trying to preach doomsday, but it's a little saddening.
I just kinda wish everything could be sunshine, lolipops and rainbows. And we could all just say a quick thankyou everyday so we wouldn't need a thanksgiving. Not that I don't like thanksgiving, or don't want it. I will gladly accept that juicy white meat into my wide mouth tonight at dinner. But i'm going to be more thankful everyday, and not just for the big things. With a recent death in the family, i've come to appreciate every sunny morning.
I've made the decision that from now on, everyday will be thanksgiving for me... without the turkey (awwsnaps.).
thanksforyourtime.
This was scribbled while listening to: Tisbury Lane - Mae
why do we need to assign a day for thanks?
Saturday of thanksgiving weekend. I just got back from a short, spontaneous apple picking adventure (one orchard wanted to charge us $2.5o a person just to enter. As you can imagine, we ditched and found a more desperate orchard, charge free. stickittotheman.) I was the DD for the trip and as i was tailing a big black SUV who was driving way too slowly down our side of the valley, and i thought to myself "no justin, be nice, it's thanksgiving weekend".
Where did thanksgiving even come from? (i wiki-ed it so i could seem all smart, having done my research, but that was fruitless because they used a whole bunch of big words which i didn't understand. was'nthelpfulatall.) To me, it really doesn't make much sense that people have to designate a certain day a year to give thanks. Why do people have to be so insensitive, uncaring, disconnected, numb, that they can't give thanks throughout the year, throughout the day? No, we have to force it out of everyone once a year to give thanks, and even that comes with the Turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce bribe. Let's be honest with ourselves, how many people would actually celebrate thanksgiving if it wasn't associated with huge, tasty dinners? Sure, there are the select few, but i'm quite sure it just wouldn't be quite as popular.
As the years pass (and i'm only 17). I'm realizing that the world is slowly becoming a more cold place. I remember during halloween as a kid, most of my 8 year old friends could make their rounds with just a couple of other zombie and vampire friends. But these days, i doubt you'll see a kid without a parent more than a pitchfork's length away. And this is what i'm seeing all year round, people are slowly becoming less friendly, less honest, less thankful. Maybe it's just me who's seeing this, and i'm not trying to preach doomsday, but it's a little saddening.
I just kinda wish everything could be sunshine, lolipops and rainbows. And we could all just say a quick thankyou everyday so we wouldn't need a thanksgiving. Not that I don't like thanksgiving, or don't want it. I will gladly accept that juicy white meat into my wide mouth tonight at dinner. But i'm going to be more thankful everyday, and not just for the big things. With a recent death in the family, i've come to appreciate every sunny morning.
I've made the decision that from now on, everyday will be thanksgiving for me... without the turkey (awwsnaps.).
thanksforyourtime.
This was scribbled while listening to: Tisbury Lane - Mae
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