Well it's only been like two months since i last blogged...
A couple hours ago, i was just sitting at home, not knowing what i was going to do with my weekend, when my dad popped the idea to spend a couple nights downtown. We called up the older of the sibs, and they were down for it, so within a couple hours, we were all together in toronto.
Unfortunately, everyone kinda had different ideas of what a night in toronto actually means, so the 2AM chinese food outing that i was looking forward to became an impossibility since my parents were snoozing within half an hour of walking in the door of the condo.
Jason came ot the rescue.
"Wanna go take a look around u of t? i'll show you where the engineering buildings are"
I was pretty tired, and i was going to say no, because i haven't had more than 6 hours of sleep for the past week, but he kept insisting that it would be fun, so i gave in. Kevin decided to tag along.
After showing me ONE engineering building (The mineral engineering building, which wasn't particularly mindboggling), he swiped his card in the entrance of some shady small doorway... I wondered where the hell he was bringing me.
After walking up a couple of flights of stairs, and around a couple of corners that reminded me of my run-down elementary school, we came to a set of double doors. I did not know what lay beyond them, but when Jason gave me that overly-excited face, i knew it could only be good news.
We opened the doors.
Some EIGHTY computers in one room, nearly a quarter of them filled with people seemingly working their asses off, staring intently at their screens, cursing at the difficult work at hand. Or that's what it looked like.
They were playing DOTA. And not just the majority of them... each and every single one of them was playing dota. It was like i had taken a step into a corner of heaven.
Long story short, we played a game, and I took great delight in repeatedly killing mini cartoon heroes.
After all of that, i can't help but be extremely excited about next year. I know it's not going to be anything like this, in fact i'm probably going to be almost radically different, considering the work i'll have to do... but i can't wait.
Here i come.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Sunday, May 31, 2009
prawm.
Tons of anticipation,
and a wake up call.
Xavier prom 2009. I spent many, many weeks preparing myself for this mentally, physically, financially... I think i had to go shopping a total of 3 different times to end up with my actual outfit. And I bought like 4 out of 5 of the things at H&M, so i don't know why i had to go back two more times after the first...
In a way though, it's kind of understandable. Right from the get go, when they announced that tickets were on sale and that prom would be on May 29 (my birthday. andnates.), people had already started panicking, brainstorming on what they should wear, and what they should wear with what they've decided to wear. The fact the prom only happens once in a lifetime, for most people anyways, (excluding those ppl who get to go twice cause of an older gf/bf. GOLDIGGERSjustkiddin.) is probably a major contribution to the early havoc. I know it was for me anyways. All of you probably know me as one to not spend generous amounts of money on things other than food, but this was an exception. I constantly caught myself telling myself that it's okay to spend money, "it's prom afterall, might as well." (say myself again. Myself.).
So after having been lucky enough to not get rejected by Sally as a date, i set out to spend over one hundred bucks on prom (can you believe that the ticket was 80 bucks? highwayrobbery.). But i also made sure to only buy things that i would definitely use again. For example, that navy blue skinny tie that i ended up getting, i'm pretty much in love with.
So they day of prom, unlike any of the girls i know who started getting ready at like 3 am (which obv. paid off cuz they looked really good. reallygood.), i started getting ready at like 1 pm, and left the house at 2 pm to go and grab the corsage and boutonniere. Which was pretty much because i spent the entire morning attempting to cut my hair and make it look presentable. I ended up just shaving chunks off of it in the end and just cleaning up what i had ended up with.
So anyways, after picking up the purrrty white roses, i ended up at sally's house where it took us as a team about 5 minutes to figure out how to work a boutonierre. Well, how can you expect us to know how to use one if we've never used one in our life? Maybe other people are just born with the skill...
The following two hours were spent taking pictures at kelly's house, which at the time seemed extremely tiring and verging on too much, but in retrospect, was absolutely necessary and probably could have even gone longer. Because when i look back at the pictures, they make me smile a lot, and i kinda wish there were more to look at.
Man oh man, kelly's dad was so funny when he was taking the pictures, going from every angle, every type of lighting, and capturing every expression. He was the definition of a proud parent, and it was really cute and now because of him i have tons of pics to look at. Thanks kelly's dad. lol.
In case you're wondering what me and sally looked like, feast your eyes on this goodlookin pair (i'm not usually this cocky, but i think we looked pretty decent.)
Before i start talking about prom itself, i have to say that i didn't have extremely high hopes for it in the first place. I was all excited to dress up and to see everyone else dressed up, but i didn't expect the event itself to be particularly engaging for me. Which is mostly because i'm not much of a dancer/partier/clubber.
Boy was i surprised. Although the food took forever to be served and there was a bit of an awkward "what do we do?" two hour time period before the music got going, we killed the time really fast just by taking lots of pictures. Most of which i do not look prsentable in because i just don't know how to take a serious picture, but that's alright, it was fun (there's like two pictures of me with a unibrow, about 7 doing the ginyu force pose, and countless others of me making up faces, howattractive.).
Only a couple of hours later, i found myself dancing my ass off on the dance floor. Albeit, not well, but i had a ball. For some reason,i just came outta my shell and started breaking it down. At least 10 people made fun of my dancing within the hour and a half that i wiggled, shimmied, and shook it, but i never slowed down, except to take a break and grab a drink. Dancing really badly really isn't that big of a deal anyways when everyone else around you is dancing badly as well. No offense guys.
When everything died down, the ppl in my car (nikkoriasallyandi) decided to head over to Bubble Republic on Hurontario (the ol' hangout spot, soasian.), because we thought it would be funny if all of us in our formal attire were to be in the middle of everyone else in casual.
We were not disappointed.
Although ria had changed into a less formal-more-casual dress; nikko, sally, and i were all still head to toe in prom-worthy clothing. I still had on my vest-o, sally still had her nice dress on, and nikko turned on his swagger.
As we walked in the door, the whole room stopped to stare.
Hell-a-fun. I definitely recommend it if you find yourself at the end of a formal event with nothing to do, and feel like being a bit of a dork. Oh yeah, and the bubble tea itself that we had while we were there was pretty good too.
(insert here 24 hours of chillage at nathan's house, too much to even put down.)
Those two days (prom and afterparty), went by way too fast. And i didn't sleep for more than half an hour, because it was all just too much fun.
Right from the beginning, it all felt kinda like a dream. As soon as we started taking the pictures of everyone all dressed up, with their dates, and nice corsages, the first thing that i thought when i looked at all the pretty and handsome faces was: "Everyone looks amazing, i really can't believe how everyone has grown so much in just four long/short years."
And even though this still wasn't the end of the school year, or the end to anything really, i had a bit of that feeling the entire time. Or more accurately, the kinds of thoughts that people get at the end of something.
I couldn't help but think the entire time about just how much i'd come to love each and every one of my friends, acquaintances, not-so-much-friends and even those random people that you see around and school, and don't even know. Because i have spent the last four years of my life with them, going through every day with them, experiencing very similart things with each of them.
In a nutshell, i've just become comfortable with everyone. It's like for the past four years, i've been shimmying myself into that little niche, and now that i've finally found a way to sit comfortable into it, it's coming to an end.
It was really priceless, to just see everyone i know, and everyone i don't know, beaming away. When you break it down, what is prom?
It's a bunch of people in a hall with food and music.
So what was making everyone so happy, and so energetic? It wasn't the hall, becuase i don't know anyone who is particularly impressed with le Treport. It wasn't the food, because i was hearing disapproving grumbles in the tummies of everyone around me all night long, and it probably wasn't the music because no one likes the song "save a horse, ride a cowboy" (whoever you are, you're really not as clever as you think for making that one up, reallynow.).
So what was it? The people. A gathering of everyone in your grade from school really only happens once in a blue moon, or less. So when it comes to pass, the disputes, dislikes, awkardnesses, and hatreds all seem to take a backseat so that everyone can just spend a couple hours enjoying each other's company.
I'm sure everyone can relate to me when i say that at the end of the whole affair, when i got home post-afterparty, i felt like i'd been hit by an eighteen wheeler and just needed to sleep for 17 hours. But i also thought to myself "feeling THIS crappy is definitely worth it considering what i was up to for the past 24 hours".
Prom and afterparty have made me realize that there's nothing we can do about the time that passes, whether we like it or not, everyone's still going to get older, and it's going to happen only faster and faster. The only thing to do is enjoy it to the fullest, even when life hands you a pile of crap.
Oh yeah, and now i'm 18. Hands down best birthday of my life.
If you got this far, please leave a comment, let me know what you thought of the whole experience. One word, or one wall of text, i want to hear it.
Bye-bye.
Song: Thinking of You - Katy Perry
and a wake up call.
Xavier prom 2009. I spent many, many weeks preparing myself for this mentally, physically, financially... I think i had to go shopping a total of 3 different times to end up with my actual outfit. And I bought like 4 out of 5 of the things at H&M, so i don't know why i had to go back two more times after the first...
In a way though, it's kind of understandable. Right from the get go, when they announced that tickets were on sale and that prom would be on May 29 (my birthday. andnates.), people had already started panicking, brainstorming on what they should wear, and what they should wear with what they've decided to wear. The fact the prom only happens once in a lifetime, for most people anyways, (excluding those ppl who get to go twice cause of an older gf/bf. GOLDIGGERSjustkiddin.) is probably a major contribution to the early havoc. I know it was for me anyways. All of you probably know me as one to not spend generous amounts of money on things other than food, but this was an exception. I constantly caught myself telling myself that it's okay to spend money, "it's prom afterall, might as well." (say myself again. Myself.).
So after having been lucky enough to not get rejected by Sally as a date, i set out to spend over one hundred bucks on prom (can you believe that the ticket was 80 bucks? highwayrobbery.). But i also made sure to only buy things that i would definitely use again. For example, that navy blue skinny tie that i ended up getting, i'm pretty much in love with.
So they day of prom, unlike any of the girls i know who started getting ready at like 3 am (which obv. paid off cuz they looked really good. reallygood.), i started getting ready at like 1 pm, and left the house at 2 pm to go and grab the corsage and boutonniere. Which was pretty much because i spent the entire morning attempting to cut my hair and make it look presentable. I ended up just shaving chunks off of it in the end and just cleaning up what i had ended up with.
So anyways, after picking up the purrrty white roses, i ended up at sally's house where it took us as a team about 5 minutes to figure out how to work a boutonierre. Well, how can you expect us to know how to use one if we've never used one in our life? Maybe other people are just born with the skill...
The following two hours were spent taking pictures at kelly's house, which at the time seemed extremely tiring and verging on too much, but in retrospect, was absolutely necessary and probably could have even gone longer. Because when i look back at the pictures, they make me smile a lot, and i kinda wish there were more to look at.
Man oh man, kelly's dad was so funny when he was taking the pictures, going from every angle, every type of lighting, and capturing every expression. He was the definition of a proud parent, and it was really cute and now because of him i have tons of pics to look at. Thanks kelly's dad. lol.
In case you're wondering what me and sally looked like, feast your eyes on this goodlookin pair (i'm not usually this cocky, but i think we looked pretty decent.)
Before i start talking about prom itself, i have to say that i didn't have extremely high hopes for it in the first place. I was all excited to dress up and to see everyone else dressed up, but i didn't expect the event itself to be particularly engaging for me. Which is mostly because i'm not much of a dancer/partier/clubber.Boy was i surprised. Although the food took forever to be served and there was a bit of an awkward "what do we do?" two hour time period before the music got going, we killed the time really fast just by taking lots of pictures. Most of which i do not look prsentable in because i just don't know how to take a serious picture, but that's alright, it was fun (there's like two pictures of me with a unibrow, about 7 doing the ginyu force pose, and countless others of me making up faces, howattractive.).
Only a couple of hours later, i found myself dancing my ass off on the dance floor. Albeit, not well, but i had a ball. For some reason,i just came outta my shell and started breaking it down. At least 10 people made fun of my dancing within the hour and a half that i wiggled, shimmied, and shook it, but i never slowed down, except to take a break and grab a drink. Dancing really badly really isn't that big of a deal anyways when everyone else around you is dancing badly as well. No offense guys.
When everything died down, the ppl in my car (nikkoriasallyandi) decided to head over to Bubble Republic on Hurontario (the ol' hangout spot, soasian.), because we thought it would be funny if all of us in our formal attire were to be in the middle of everyone else in casual.
We were not disappointed.
Although ria had changed into a less formal-more-casual dress; nikko, sally, and i were all still head to toe in prom-worthy clothing. I still had on my vest-o, sally still had her nice dress on, and nikko turned on his swagger.
As we walked in the door, the whole room stopped to stare.
Hell-a-fun. I definitely recommend it if you find yourself at the end of a formal event with nothing to do, and feel like being a bit of a dork. Oh yeah, and the bubble tea itself that we had while we were there was pretty good too.
(insert here 24 hours of chillage at nathan's house, too much to even put down.)
Those two days (prom and afterparty), went by way too fast. And i didn't sleep for more than half an hour, because it was all just too much fun.
Right from the beginning, it all felt kinda like a dream. As soon as we started taking the pictures of everyone all dressed up, with their dates, and nice corsages, the first thing that i thought when i looked at all the pretty and handsome faces was: "Everyone looks amazing, i really can't believe how everyone has grown so much in just four long/short years."
And even though this still wasn't the end of the school year, or the end to anything really, i had a bit of that feeling the entire time. Or more accurately, the kinds of thoughts that people get at the end of something.
I couldn't help but think the entire time about just how much i'd come to love each and every one of my friends, acquaintances, not-so-much-friends and even those random people that you see around and school, and don't even know. Because i have spent the last four years of my life with them, going through every day with them, experiencing very similart things with each of them.
In a nutshell, i've just become comfortable with everyone. It's like for the past four years, i've been shimmying myself into that little niche, and now that i've finally found a way to sit comfortable into it, it's coming to an end.
It was really priceless, to just see everyone i know, and everyone i don't know, beaming away. When you break it down, what is prom?
It's a bunch of people in a hall with food and music.
So what was making everyone so happy, and so energetic? It wasn't the hall, becuase i don't know anyone who is particularly impressed with le Treport. It wasn't the food, because i was hearing disapproving grumbles in the tummies of everyone around me all night long, and it probably wasn't the music because no one likes the song "save a horse, ride a cowboy" (whoever you are, you're really not as clever as you think for making that one up, reallynow.).
So what was it? The people. A gathering of everyone in your grade from school really only happens once in a blue moon, or less. So when it comes to pass, the disputes, dislikes, awkardnesses, and hatreds all seem to take a backseat so that everyone can just spend a couple hours enjoying each other's company.
I'm sure everyone can relate to me when i say that at the end of the whole affair, when i got home post-afterparty, i felt like i'd been hit by an eighteen wheeler and just needed to sleep for 17 hours. But i also thought to myself "feeling THIS crappy is definitely worth it considering what i was up to for the past 24 hours".
Prom and afterparty have made me realize that there's nothing we can do about the time that passes, whether we like it or not, everyone's still going to get older, and it's going to happen only faster and faster. The only thing to do is enjoy it to the fullest, even when life hands you a pile of crap.
Oh yeah, and now i'm 18. Hands down best birthday of my life.
If you got this far, please leave a comment, let me know what you thought of the whole experience. One word, or one wall of text, i want to hear it.
Bye-bye.
Song: Thinking of You - Katy Perry
Saturday, May 16, 2009
windingdown.
Six out of eleven completed,
I'm almost there.
As of Thursday, i finished my math paper 3 exam. Putting an end to highschool mathematics forever. By now i am completely finished with physics and math, until we meet again in university. I'm hoping though, that all the IB alumni rumours of breezing through first year are true. As per usual, i'm skeptic.
All that remains is chem and french, and these two compared to the physics and math papers, i predict will invoke far fewer emotional breakdowns than the the latter. That mean's i'm done with the worst of it!
Because there's been a lot less class for us recently, it's meant that everyone's gotten to spend a lot more time together. Even though the majority of this quality time was spent worrying and studying, and propagating each other's nerves, it's been really nice to get to know everyone just that much more. Once again, i've noticed how anxiety can really unite people. Everyone's been pretty supportive to each other, helping each other out in their own way. It's a necessity when there's 10-13 papers to be written (Kudos to Zain. howdoyoudoit.).
So even with the pervading anxiety, joking around with people about exams and homework has been a ball.
Exams are winding down now, and there's even more down time coming with it.
Last thursday, since my little brother had to perform in the spring concert, i had to hang around so i could be his ride home. He needed picking up at 9, so i had to occupy myself between the end of school and then. So since glenn and i were pretty much the only ones not IN the concert, we just hung out for like 10 hours.
This ten was divided up into floating around Long and McQuade, just playing on every guitar and drumset we could find, being a mall rat, eating junk food, sitting on the bleachers outside and sneaking in the the music room.
It makes me feel like such a teenager.
Can't wait until everyone's done all the exams. It's just going to make way for even more time to spend with everyone. Even if that time consists of being a mall rat, or sitting around having nothing to do. Boredom isn't boring with you guys.
G'luck to everyone on their remaining exams.
Song: Fifteen - Taylor Swift
I'm almost there.
As of Thursday, i finished my math paper 3 exam. Putting an end to highschool mathematics forever. By now i am completely finished with physics and math, until we meet again in university. I'm hoping though, that all the IB alumni rumours of breezing through first year are true. As per usual, i'm skeptic.
All that remains is chem and french, and these two compared to the physics and math papers, i predict will invoke far fewer emotional breakdowns than the the latter. That mean's i'm done with the worst of it!
Because there's been a lot less class for us recently, it's meant that everyone's gotten to spend a lot more time together. Even though the majority of this quality time was spent worrying and studying, and propagating each other's nerves, it's been really nice to get to know everyone just that much more. Once again, i've noticed how anxiety can really unite people. Everyone's been pretty supportive to each other, helping each other out in their own way. It's a necessity when there's 10-13 papers to be written (Kudos to Zain. howdoyoudoit.).
So even with the pervading anxiety, joking around with people about exams and homework has been a ball.
Exams are winding down now, and there's even more down time coming with it.
Last thursday, since my little brother had to perform in the spring concert, i had to hang around so i could be his ride home. He needed picking up at 9, so i had to occupy myself between the end of school and then. So since glenn and i were pretty much the only ones not IN the concert, we just hung out for like 10 hours.
This ten was divided up into floating around Long and McQuade, just playing on every guitar and drumset we could find, being a mall rat, eating junk food, sitting on the bleachers outside and sneaking in the the music room.
It makes me feel like such a teenager.
Can't wait until everyone's done all the exams. It's just going to make way for even more time to spend with everyone. Even if that time consists of being a mall rat, or sitting around having nothing to do. Boredom isn't boring with you guys.
G'luck to everyone on their remaining exams.
Song: Fifteen - Taylor Swift
Thursday, May 7, 2009
unprepared.
I was almost as prepared as possible.
Apparently not.
Today was my first IB exam of eleven exams in total. Being the first, and being math, i have recently been regarding the exam as extra-important to me. I wanted to start off the string of tough exams with a bang. Plus, i've had trouble with math before, so i really wanted to prove to myself that I can do it if i try.
So, as much as i detest studying, and as hard as it is to keep myself focused for long periods of time on school work, I've been biting the bullet and digging my nose in those terrible smelling texts. When i could be blogging away, strumming away, or pwning newbs with Balanar the "Night Stalker", i exercised self control and forced myself to study.
This has been going on for a while now, because i really wanted that feeling of success.
So this morning, when i believed that i had done mostly everything i could to prepare myself, when i could do nearly every question in the review package, and actually understand why i was doing the steps, i was happy as a clam. I was under the impression i was going to go into that exam, and do decently. Maybe not ace it, but pass for certain.
Before the exam, everyone congregated in the hallway outside the library. Everyone was anxious but not scared. We were worried, but not hopeless. After all, we've spent three full semesters, a full year and a half preparing for this exam.
After recieving the exam package, i was actually excited to get started so that i could get it over with.
The exam went terribly. None of the resources available to me helped in more than a miniscule manner. All of the focuses of our three semester course were completely overprioritised by other very obscure topics on the exam paper. In no way was i prepared for the exam that i recieved.
I'm quite livid right now. I feel almost misled. I've been studying past exams for so long, workign into my mind what i should expect, and what i recieved was completely different.
And now, i don't know who's to blame for this impossible exam. Usually i'd blame myself for not being prepared, but seeing as every other math student, even the super-geniuses, have the same mentality as me right now, i honestly do not feel like it's my fault any longer. I think i prepared myself as best as i could.
Sometimes life just does not go your way.
I'll just have to deal with it.
Another math exam tommorow. Yay. this should be fun.
Song: Miss Murder - AFI
Apparently not.
Today was my first IB exam of eleven exams in total. Being the first, and being math, i have recently been regarding the exam as extra-important to me. I wanted to start off the string of tough exams with a bang. Plus, i've had trouble with math before, so i really wanted to prove to myself that I can do it if i try.
So, as much as i detest studying, and as hard as it is to keep myself focused for long periods of time on school work, I've been biting the bullet and digging my nose in those terrible smelling texts. When i could be blogging away, strumming away, or pwning newbs with Balanar the "Night Stalker", i exercised self control and forced myself to study.
This has been going on for a while now, because i really wanted that feeling of success.
So this morning, when i believed that i had done mostly everything i could to prepare myself, when i could do nearly every question in the review package, and actually understand why i was doing the steps, i was happy as a clam. I was under the impression i was going to go into that exam, and do decently. Maybe not ace it, but pass for certain.
Before the exam, everyone congregated in the hallway outside the library. Everyone was anxious but not scared. We were worried, but not hopeless. After all, we've spent three full semesters, a full year and a half preparing for this exam.
After recieving the exam package, i was actually excited to get started so that i could get it over with.
The exam went terribly. None of the resources available to me helped in more than a miniscule manner. All of the focuses of our three semester course were completely overprioritised by other very obscure topics on the exam paper. In no way was i prepared for the exam that i recieved.
I'm quite livid right now. I feel almost misled. I've been studying past exams for so long, workign into my mind what i should expect, and what i recieved was completely different.
And now, i don't know who's to blame for this impossible exam. Usually i'd blame myself for not being prepared, but seeing as every other math student, even the super-geniuses, have the same mentality as me right now, i honestly do not feel like it's my fault any longer. I think i prepared myself as best as i could.
Sometimes life just does not go your way.
I'll just have to deal with it.
Another math exam tommorow. Yay. this should be fun.
Song: Miss Murder - AFI
Saturday, April 18, 2009
uglysue.
Everyone laughed and jeered at her.
But she just beamed with confidence.
Picked up the newspaper this morning, and from the front page of the entertainment section, "Ugly Sue" stared back at me. She simply looked like an all-around unimpressive person. Late 40s, not particularly attractive, and grinning devilishly, it was hard to take her seriously. And that was before i saw the "Britain's Got Talent" video which made her famous.
If i thought she looked awkward in a picture, then seeing her in live action was five times worse. That grin never left her face, and she acted a bit obnoxiously. Apparently the judges had a similar perception of her, because they had to stifle chuckles at the things she was saying. The crowd was outright jeering and pitying her. Somehow, Susan Boyle remained unphased and confident.
As soon as she belted out the first note of "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables, Simon Cowell's cynical grimace evaporated and became a genuine, wide smile. The man was impressed. And so was I.
At first i thought it was a joke, that someone had done a voiceover or that this hadn't actually happened, but i was wrong.
The way this woman sung, was pretty darn good, maybe not as breathtaking as Paul Potts was, but she was really good. Maybe even broadway worthy.
At least once in my life, i want to pull off an "Ugly Sue". I want someone, or even multiple someones to tell me "you can't" and then i want to make them eat their own words.
As she was singing, everyone cheered like mad, and the look on her face was filled with triumph: "yeah, that's right. I CAN SING.".
It might be a bit of a stretch but it reminded me of those times at wrestling tournaments when my opponent would look at me, judge me, and then go on to scoff right in front of me. As if to say that i would be no sweat off his back. I'm telling you right now. The feeling that you get when that cocky *not nice word* cries that single tear when you make him eat the mat, is UNPARALLELED.
So i'm guessing that's the kinda feeling that "Ugly Sue" was having as she performed, except her moment caused no harm to others, and actually invoked joy and happiness. I'm pretty happy for her.
Apparently she's got a record deal now.
It brings back the memories of Paul Potts. He was amazing too.
Song: I Dreamed a Dream - Susan Boyle
PS. Here's a link to the video clip:
Susan Boyle:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk
Paul Potts: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k08yxu57NA
But she just beamed with confidence.
Picked up the newspaper this morning, and from the front page of the entertainment section, "Ugly Sue" stared back at me. She simply looked like an all-around unimpressive person. Late 40s, not particularly attractive, and grinning devilishly, it was hard to take her seriously. And that was before i saw the "Britain's Got Talent" video which made her famous.
If i thought she looked awkward in a picture, then seeing her in live action was five times worse. That grin never left her face, and she acted a bit obnoxiously. Apparently the judges had a similar perception of her, because they had to stifle chuckles at the things she was saying. The crowd was outright jeering and pitying her. Somehow, Susan Boyle remained unphased and confident.
As soon as she belted out the first note of "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables, Simon Cowell's cynical grimace evaporated and became a genuine, wide smile. The man was impressed. And so was I.
At first i thought it was a joke, that someone had done a voiceover or that this hadn't actually happened, but i was wrong.
The way this woman sung, was pretty darn good, maybe not as breathtaking as Paul Potts was, but she was really good. Maybe even broadway worthy.
At least once in my life, i want to pull off an "Ugly Sue". I want someone, or even multiple someones to tell me "you can't" and then i want to make them eat their own words.
As she was singing, everyone cheered like mad, and the look on her face was filled with triumph: "yeah, that's right. I CAN SING.".
It might be a bit of a stretch but it reminded me of those times at wrestling tournaments when my opponent would look at me, judge me, and then go on to scoff right in front of me. As if to say that i would be no sweat off his back. I'm telling you right now. The feeling that you get when that cocky *not nice word* cries that single tear when you make him eat the mat, is UNPARALLELED.
So i'm guessing that's the kinda feeling that "Ugly Sue" was having as she performed, except her moment caused no harm to others, and actually invoked joy and happiness. I'm pretty happy for her.
Apparently she's got a record deal now.
It brings back the memories of Paul Potts. He was amazing too.
Song: I Dreamed a Dream - Susan Boyle
PS. Here's a link to the video clip:
Susan Boyle:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk
Paul Potts: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k08yxu57NA
Friday, April 10, 2009
plusone.
a quick announcement.
a possibly chaotic future.
Little brother Kevin has officially been added as an other to my secondary blog "Kinkeejou's Garden of Spontaneous Scribbles". This means that as of now, said blog has four authors; Kevin, Glenn, Sean and I.
Since that blog was started, it never really took off as what it was meant to be; an overly casual space for me to drop a bunch of thoughts without having to actually conduct any planning or put any effort forth.
Since Kevin and I were saying that we wanted to start a joint blog anyways, we decided to start in Kinkeejou's Garden.
Have a nice Easter!
-Justin.
a possibly chaotic future.
Little brother Kevin has officially been added as an other to my secondary blog "Kinkeejou's Garden of Spontaneous Scribbles". This means that as of now, said blog has four authors; Kevin, Glenn, Sean and I.
Since that blog was started, it never really took off as what it was meant to be; an overly casual space for me to drop a bunch of thoughts without having to actually conduct any planning or put any effort forth.
Since Kevin and I were saying that we wanted to start a joint blog anyways, we decided to start in Kinkeejou's Garden.
Have a nice Easter!
-Justin.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
rememberthename.
A little stupid something...
He remembered my name.It's time for a quick warning: I just re-read this post, and it made me kinda sad, it may or may not do the same for you. But be warned. happy reading. ;D
In chemistry class recently, Mr.A was called on to sub for mrs. C. Apparently she had to be away for the badminton tournament, and left a heap of work for us to do while she was away.
And this is what opened doors for a perfect display of contrast. The teacher who took the first shift for "teaching" our class was a lady i've never seen before in my life. She pretty much sat at the teacher's desk, buried her nose into some magazine, and quickly became completely oblivious to the fact that the 18 students in front of her were not doing their work, and were in fact indulging in various card games (not that we complained. yay"literature".).
The bell rang, and in came Mr. A. The first lady bolted out the door like lightning, and neglected to even say bye to the class. She made it feel like a CHORE.
Mr. A quickly took a look around, and took in what he was seeing quite quickly. He wanted everyone back to work, and sitting in their places. I, not wanting to move, decided to give him a teensy bit of lip. "Is that right? You arrrrrreee doing your work well and thoroughly... (and here, he gave me a quick look up and down as if refreshing his memory) ... Mr. Justin?"
It took me by surprise. This man has not taught me for years. In fact the last time i was in a class of his was in Grade 9 religion, a class in which i consciously and actively maintained an under-the-radar status. I was most definitely not expecting him to remember my name at all. As I would expect from most other teachers.
Now, i'm not necessarily a huge fan of this teacher. In fact, i would say he's pretty average, but having had awkward confrontations with many of my ex-teachers during which they stared at me absent-mindedly... evidently trying to work out what my name was, even though they had taught me just last semester, I was happy to know that some people don't completely forget me. It was a tiny thing, him calling me by name, but just like many other small things in my days, it set off a chain reaction of thoughts.
It's a really dumb fear, but one of my biggest paranoias in life is being forgotten. And i don't mean "when i'm gone, will anybody care?". I'm going to be arrogant and say that at least one person would care. I'm thinking more along the lines of, will i fall into the background of people's minds, and just become another face that they've come across during their highschool years. Instead of that, i'd much more like to be remembered as "the guy who spent a lot of time with me just going out for an after school snack, even if it was just for an hour and a bit" or "the guy who failed miserably at school, but he failed along with me".
I'm petrified of having the people who are important to me, not see me as someone important to them somewhere in the future.
I don't know what i'd do if one day i was walking around in the Eaton's center, and i saw one of the guys and they just walked right past me without even noticing. That would just do me in. It would make me feel old, and maybe even a bit insignificant.
And then there's me, i can't put all the pressure on everyone else, i really hope that i will never be the one to act like that, to go so far as to forget one of the people that stuck by me throughout the years. Whether we drifted, or got closer, or fought all the time, i don't ever want to forget anyone.
As embarrassing as it is, i think about this almost every single day. And now with grade 12 coming to an end, it's recurring only more often.
Every day is one day closer.
I'm constantly thinking of doing the best i can to be one of those people that you guys will not forget. And i greatly doubt that i'll ever forget you guys. Even when i'm mad at you, i'm not.
So: rememberthename. ;D
And this is what opened doors for a perfect display of contrast. The teacher who took the first shift for "teaching" our class was a lady i've never seen before in my life. She pretty much sat at the teacher's desk, buried her nose into some magazine, and quickly became completely oblivious to the fact that the 18 students in front of her were not doing their work, and were in fact indulging in various card games (not that we complained. yay"literature".).
The bell rang, and in came Mr. A. The first lady bolted out the door like lightning, and neglected to even say bye to the class. She made it feel like a CHORE.
Mr. A quickly took a look around, and took in what he was seeing quite quickly. He wanted everyone back to work, and sitting in their places. I, not wanting to move, decided to give him a teensy bit of lip. "Is that right? You arrrrrreee doing your work well and thoroughly... (and here, he gave me a quick look up and down as if refreshing his memory) ... Mr. Justin?"
It took me by surprise. This man has not taught me for years. In fact the last time i was in a class of his was in Grade 9 religion, a class in which i consciously and actively maintained an under-the-radar status. I was most definitely not expecting him to remember my name at all. As I would expect from most other teachers.
Now, i'm not necessarily a huge fan of this teacher. In fact, i would say he's pretty average, but having had awkward confrontations with many of my ex-teachers during which they stared at me absent-mindedly... evidently trying to work out what my name was, even though they had taught me just last semester, I was happy to know that some people don't completely forget me. It was a tiny thing, him calling me by name, but just like many other small things in my days, it set off a chain reaction of thoughts.
It's a really dumb fear, but one of my biggest paranoias in life is being forgotten. And i don't mean "when i'm gone, will anybody care?". I'm going to be arrogant and say that at least one person would care. I'm thinking more along the lines of, will i fall into the background of people's minds, and just become another face that they've come across during their highschool years. Instead of that, i'd much more like to be remembered as "the guy who spent a lot of time with me just going out for an after school snack, even if it was just for an hour and a bit" or "the guy who failed miserably at school, but he failed along with me".
I'm petrified of having the people who are important to me, not see me as someone important to them somewhere in the future.
I don't know what i'd do if one day i was walking around in the Eaton's center, and i saw one of the guys and they just walked right past me without even noticing. That would just do me in. It would make me feel old, and maybe even a bit insignificant.
And then there's me, i can't put all the pressure on everyone else, i really hope that i will never be the one to act like that, to go so far as to forget one of the people that stuck by me throughout the years. Whether we drifted, or got closer, or fought all the time, i don't ever want to forget anyone.
As embarrassing as it is, i think about this almost every single day. And now with grade 12 coming to an end, it's recurring only more often.
Every day is one day closer.
I'm constantly thinking of doing the best i can to be one of those people that you guys will not forget. And i greatly doubt that i'll ever forget you guys. Even when i'm mad at you, i'm not.
So: rememberthename. ;D
Song: You Told Me You Loved Me - Cinematic Sunrise
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
amostlytruestory.
Paranoia must be at an all time high.
Or at least in a certain small Hamilton neighbourhood...
Last weekend, to end this year's ridiculously short-lived March Break, the family (Minus Jason who got substituted for Ja-Poa. cuzshe'sabetterhiker.) went on a mini hiking trip at a small park in Hamilton. There were a couple waterfalls to see, and just some all around nice-scenery. We took some pictures and mostly loafed around enjoying the view.
During one of the conversations which arose, we started talking about how my dad, the acoustic engineer, often works in Hamilton, and "Did you hear about the funny story of two years back?" I couldn't say I had, and so i was told it by my sister who was interrupted multiple times by her own laughing fits.
Here's my attempt to recount it for you, best as I can from the facts i've gathered. Remember, this is a MOSTLY true story.
One day, Justin's father, the acoustic engineer received an assignment at work, it was nothing special, he'd be going through the same motions as any other project he'd done in the years he'd been doing his job. So he definitely did not expect the events which would come to pass.
He drove down to Hamilton, unloaded his equipment, and upon a nearby lamp post, he perched a harmless sound level meter. It
looked something like this...
His intentions were simple, to leave this meter installed for no more than couple nights, to take a string of measurements so as to determine whether the level of sound being produced by a nearby factory was excessive in relation to this neighbourhood. A completely good-willed act I'd say. [I'd like you to note at this time, regardless of how simple this instrument may appear, it is a deceptively pricey tool. The picture provided was some random model i found on the net, probably coming in at around $150.00, but the meters used by professionals are in the price range of an order of magnitude greater than $150.00]
After arriving at work the next day, Justin's father received a telephone call. The news he received was definitely not what he was expecting. Through the telephone, Justin's father was informed of some intriguing facts.
He was told that team of people now had his sound level measurement equipment in their possession... This would be unsettling news for anyone who was responsible for expensive equipment, but what was even more unsettling was the fact that they looked a little something like this:
... i never did see the bomb squad as very elegantly uniformed. This poor fellow looks like his head is being engulfed by a mutant venus fly trap. I shouldn't make fun. They save lives.
Apparently, a worried resident of the neighbourhood being sampled had thankfully made the decision to notify the authorities of the explosive device installed on the lamp post across the street. Naturally, the best of the best were called in, and they wasted no time plotting a strategy for making this neighbourhood a safe place once again... This meant disabling the unkown device.
Fully adorned in their protective gear (refer once more the the above picture. can'tstoplookingatitlol.), the team took all precautions, remembering their thoroughly rehearsed training. But, when it was deemed too dangerous to approach the device, a new strategy was adopted. They called upon the heavy machinery:
[they sent in Wall-E's cousin]
Using this technologically advanced robot, the team began their approach. Slowly, accurately, repeatedly, the offensive was taken as this sophisticated robot was commanded to toss water balloons one by one at the unknown device.
As one of the water balloons struck the device and sent it hurling towards the ground, the squad braced themselves for the explosion. It didn't come.
Hearts beating fast, the team approached the apparatus, tools in hand, ready to rapidly diffuse the device, ready to cut the red wire, cut the black wire, thwart a terrorist ploy, to SAVE LIVES.
The first of the team arrived at the spot where the apparatus landed, frantically looking where to being, quickly but carefully lifting the device and inspecting it. When the squad leader discovered the phone number to an engineering firm, he dialed it right away. He soon discovered that he and his team members had spent many long hours shrinking away from, escorting civilains away from, and hurling water balloons at... a sound measuring device?
The good news is this. Were it not for these everyday-heroes, who knows what could have come from that unknown device? Who knows what terrible terrorist plot could have been followed through? How can we possibly repay them for the work that they have done in keeping our neighbourhoods dangerous-apparatus-free?
I actually have a lot of respect for bomb squads all around the world, and the work that they do. Their lives really are put on the line every day in their lives. This story was not meant to downplay anyone's line of work, or poke fun at certain people. It was just a fun, laughable misunderstanding.
But it does make me wonder how we got to this point. What has been happening lately that has brought us to constantly question our safety these days? It must be a pretty crappy world out there if a person was honestly led to believe that someone would choose an innocent neighbourhood as a bomb site. And that this person felt that it was necessary to notify the authorities.
I've gotten pretty paranoid too, after having heard of some of the crazy things that have been happening. And i'll say it now, i probably would have donned one of those venus fly trap suits before going anywhere near that harmless sound measuring tool had i not known what it was.
Butistillfinditallfunny.
Song: Eat You Up - BoA.
Or at least in a certain small Hamilton neighbourhood...
Last weekend, to end this year's ridiculously short-lived March Break, the family (Minus Jason who got substituted for Ja-Poa. cuzshe'sabetterhiker.) went on a mini hiking trip at a small park in Hamilton. There were a couple waterfalls to see, and just some all around nice-scenery. We took some pictures and mostly loafed around enjoying the view.
During one of the conversations which arose, we started talking about how my dad, the acoustic engineer, often works in Hamilton, and "Did you hear about the funny story of two years back?" I couldn't say I had, and so i was told it by my sister who was interrupted multiple times by her own laughing fits.
Here's my attempt to recount it for you, best as I can from the facts i've gathered. Remember, this is a MOSTLY true story.
One day, Justin's father, the acoustic engineer received an assignment at work, it was nothing special, he'd be going through the same motions as any other project he'd done in the years he'd been doing his job. So he definitely did not expect the events which would come to pass.
He drove down to Hamilton, unloaded his equipment, and upon a nearby lamp post, he perched a harmless sound level meter. It
looked something like this...His intentions were simple, to leave this meter installed for no more than couple nights, to take a string of measurements so as to determine whether the level of sound being produced by a nearby factory was excessive in relation to this neighbourhood. A completely good-willed act I'd say. [I'd like you to note at this time, regardless of how simple this instrument may appear, it is a deceptively pricey tool. The picture provided was some random model i found on the net, probably coming in at around $150.00, but the meters used by professionals are in the price range of an order of magnitude greater than $150.00]
After arriving at work the next day, Justin's father received a telephone call. The news he received was definitely not what he was expecting. Through the telephone, Justin's father was informed of some intriguing facts.
He was told that team of people now had his sound level measurement equipment in their possession... This would be unsettling news for anyone who was responsible for expensive equipment, but what was even more unsettling was the fact that they looked a little something like this:
... i never did see the bomb squad as very elegantly uniformed. This poor fellow looks like his head is being engulfed by a mutant venus fly trap. I shouldn't make fun. They save lives.
Apparently, a worried resident of the neighbourhood being sampled had thankfully made the decision to notify the authorities of the explosive device installed on the lamp post across the street. Naturally, the best of the best were called in, and they wasted no time plotting a strategy for making this neighbourhood a safe place once again... This meant disabling the unkown device.
Fully adorned in their protective gear (refer once more the the above picture. can'tstoplookingatitlol.), the team took all precautions, remembering their thoroughly rehearsed training. But, when it was deemed too dangerous to approach the device, a new strategy was adopted. They called upon the heavy machinery:
[they sent in Wall-E's cousin]Using this technologically advanced robot, the team began their approach. Slowly, accurately, repeatedly, the offensive was taken as this sophisticated robot was commanded to toss water balloons one by one at the unknown device.
As one of the water balloons struck the device and sent it hurling towards the ground, the squad braced themselves for the explosion. It didn't come.
Hearts beating fast, the team approached the apparatus, tools in hand, ready to rapidly diffuse the device, ready to cut the red wire, cut the black wire, thwart a terrorist ploy, to SAVE LIVES.
The first of the team arrived at the spot where the apparatus landed, frantically looking where to being, quickly but carefully lifting the device and inspecting it. When the squad leader discovered the phone number to an engineering firm, he dialed it right away. He soon discovered that he and his team members had spent many long hours shrinking away from, escorting civilains away from, and hurling water balloons at... a sound measuring device?
The good news is this. Were it not for these everyday-heroes, who knows what could have come from that unknown device? Who knows what terrible terrorist plot could have been followed through? How can we possibly repay them for the work that they have done in keeping our neighbourhoods dangerous-apparatus-free?
I actually have a lot of respect for bomb squads all around the world, and the work that they do. Their lives really are put on the line every day in their lives. This story was not meant to downplay anyone's line of work, or poke fun at certain people. It was just a fun, laughable misunderstanding.
But it does make me wonder how we got to this point. What has been happening lately that has brought us to constantly question our safety these days? It must be a pretty crappy world out there if a person was honestly led to believe that someone would choose an innocent neighbourhood as a bomb site. And that this person felt that it was necessary to notify the authorities.
I've gotten pretty paranoid too, after having heard of some of the crazy things that have been happening. And i'll say it now, i probably would have donned one of those venus fly trap suits before going anywhere near that harmless sound measuring tool had i not known what it was.
Butistillfinditallfunny.
Song: Eat You Up - BoA.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
crashpicture.
I'm a mentor!
No i'm not...
The group picture for the Xavier Mentors was today. According to that picture, Ria and i are Xavier Mentors :D. We thought it would be fun to crash the picture-taking party. We weren't mistaken. Well, we both were Mentors last year so it wasn't a COMPLETE lie. I can't wait until the year book committee has to write out the captions for the picture, and them comes to our faces. "Uhmm... who the hell is that... and that?"
This simple occurence brought to my attention my inability to keep up the busy schedule. School should always take priority. And it has, believe me it has. I've had to give up on a lot of things that i wish i were still doing to keep open time for homework, and working the job.
Mentorship, Futsal, Soccer, Wrestling Club, Badminton, and (kinda Band). Have all taken the fall to keep me free for work. And i guess it was the right decision to have dropped them for the work, because if i were doing all of that, then my grades and performance in school would be MUCH worse than it is right now. But since i'm not getting 100% on nearly as many tests as i would like to, I can't help but feel like i'm not getting the return for the sacrifice. I'm a bit bitter.
All of those things that i have had to drop, even though i might not want to admit it, were all at least a bit enjoyable for me. And i miss all of them. There's so many times in the day that i just think to myself that i wish i had more time to be able to do the things i want to do.
My parents have already expressed multiple times their wishes for me to give up on wrestling. Because if i get injured during university because of wrestling, it would affect my work. And i don't deny it, in fact i completely agree with them. But it doesn't make it any easier to swallow. Any way i look at it, wrestling was an escape for me. I don't want to give it up.
What i'm trying to say is, if i feel like i'm being starved of the extra-curriculars as of now, i'm gonna be crawling on my hands and knees in a year's time, lamenting. There's so much that i could have done if a day had twenty FIVE hours.
It feels like i've been thinking a lot about time recently. I need to cut that out.
Song: Can i Have This Dance - HSM3
No i'm not...
The group picture for the Xavier Mentors was today. According to that picture, Ria and i are Xavier Mentors :D. We thought it would be fun to crash the picture-taking party. We weren't mistaken. Well, we both were Mentors last year so it wasn't a COMPLETE lie. I can't wait until the year book committee has to write out the captions for the picture, and them comes to our faces. "Uhmm... who the hell is that... and that?"
This simple occurence brought to my attention my inability to keep up the busy schedule. School should always take priority. And it has, believe me it has. I've had to give up on a lot of things that i wish i were still doing to keep open time for homework, and working the job.
Mentorship, Futsal, Soccer, Wrestling Club, Badminton, and (kinda Band). Have all taken the fall to keep me free for work. And i guess it was the right decision to have dropped them for the work, because if i were doing all of that, then my grades and performance in school would be MUCH worse than it is right now. But since i'm not getting 100% on nearly as many tests as i would like to, I can't help but feel like i'm not getting the return for the sacrifice. I'm a bit bitter.
All of those things that i have had to drop, even though i might not want to admit it, were all at least a bit enjoyable for me. And i miss all of them. There's so many times in the day that i just think to myself that i wish i had more time to be able to do the things i want to do.
My parents have already expressed multiple times their wishes for me to give up on wrestling. Because if i get injured during university because of wrestling, it would affect my work. And i don't deny it, in fact i completely agree with them. But it doesn't make it any easier to swallow. Any way i look at it, wrestling was an escape for me. I don't want to give it up.
What i'm trying to say is, if i feel like i'm being starved of the extra-curriculars as of now, i'm gonna be crawling on my hands and knees in a year's time, lamenting. There's so much that i could have done if a day had twenty FIVE hours.
It feels like i've been thinking a lot about time recently. I need to cut that out.
Song: Can i Have This Dance - HSM3
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Februarypast.
It ran away behind my back...
Without me.
Time is passing so fast. It's the end of February, and i only realized that a few minutes ago when i was confirming the date of my piano competition. In the back of my head, i was still thinking that we were in the teens of black history month.
Maybe it's because of all the things that keep us busy so often, but i have very little bearing on time these days. Seeing that number 26 was a wakeup call for me. And then I realized that February only has 28 days, and then that woke me up even more.
Having a lot of stuff to do eats time up like crazy. First of all, I waste time worrying about the things i have to do. And then i waste time stalling so that i can put as much time between me and the thing i have to do. The thing that i have to do in itself comes along sooner or later, and for obvious reasons, that takes up quite a large part of the agenda. And then there's my absolute NEED for some kind of rebound period. I do this thing, where as soon as i've finished a big project, or assignment, i have to do something to reward myself. Whether it's a short game of cellphone-Sudoku, or a less-short-game of DOTA with the boys, it still takes up yet more time.
When you take all of those things into consideration, and toss in the fact that February is the most important month of the wrestling calendar, the result is a completely baffled Justin.
I'm scared of time going out the window without my knowing. I'm horrified of it. because i really don't want to be saying to myself in June; "I really didn't get to enjoy those last months of my highschool years". Actually, if school were to end right now, i know that's what i would be saying to myself (that's a do not want. donotwant.).
So i guess i'm deciding to pay more attention to every day, instead of just looking ahead to that 2:25 bell.
Song: Half Alive - Secondhand Serenade
Without me.
Time is passing so fast. It's the end of February, and i only realized that a few minutes ago when i was confirming the date of my piano competition. In the back of my head, i was still thinking that we were in the teens of black history month.
Maybe it's because of all the things that keep us busy so often, but i have very little bearing on time these days. Seeing that number 26 was a wakeup call for me. And then I realized that February only has 28 days, and then that woke me up even more.
Having a lot of stuff to do eats time up like crazy. First of all, I waste time worrying about the things i have to do. And then i waste time stalling so that i can put as much time between me and the thing i have to do. The thing that i have to do in itself comes along sooner or later, and for obvious reasons, that takes up quite a large part of the agenda. And then there's my absolute NEED for some kind of rebound period. I do this thing, where as soon as i've finished a big project, or assignment, i have to do something to reward myself. Whether it's a short game of cellphone-Sudoku, or a less-short-game of DOTA with the boys, it still takes up yet more time.
When you take all of those things into consideration, and toss in the fact that February is the most important month of the wrestling calendar, the result is a completely baffled Justin.
I'm scared of time going out the window without my knowing. I'm horrified of it. because i really don't want to be saying to myself in June; "I really didn't get to enjoy those last months of my highschool years". Actually, if school were to end right now, i know that's what i would be saying to myself (that's a do not want. donotwant.).
So i guess i'm deciding to pay more attention to every day, instead of just looking ahead to that 2:25 bell.
Song: Half Alive - Secondhand Serenade
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