fourjuicyworms.

Fingers crossed, pulse racing, penny at the ready.

High hopes, pessimist predictions, some guilty amusement.

At one of my family xmas parties, we played one of those games where everyone brings a present, and then everyone walks away with one. I'm not sure what it's called actually, it's not quite secret santa, but similar. Anyhow, since i wasn't too keen on walking out of there with one of the 7 clock radios that people had brought, or any of the bottles of wine or champagne for fear of giving relatives the wrong idea, and since the "Dark Knight" dvd, $20 Tim Horton's card, and sony headphones had all been permanently claimed, i was left with one choice. A pack of four lottery scratch tickets, and chocolate chip cookies.

Before i'm accused of being a gambler, i'm going to explain myself. If you don't know, i'm a cookie fiend, a chocolate fiend, and a chip fiend. So it would make a ton of sense that i chose the chocolate chip cookies. Right? The scratch tickets were just a bonus, and a potential fifty thousand big ones. Plus, it wasn't my money either, i couldn't lose.

I lost. Well two of the four. I ended up winning two dollars on one card, and four dollars on the other card. So half of them i won. But the cost of all the four tickets together was ten bucks. I'm pretty glad it wasn't me who paid for them. The ironic thing is, that both of the wins that i got, were on the cheaper $2 cards as opposed to the more expensive $3 ones.

I officially have a tiny bone to pick with Keno (the cards that i lost on. boounfun.). For those of you who don't know how Keno works (ie. me a couple of days ago. it'ssimple.), this is how:
You have a bank of about twenty numbers, and underneath those twenty numbers, about ten lines of random numbers, the first line with two numbers, the second with three, and so forth. As the line increases in number of numbers, so does the prize for that line. For every line you win, you get the money prize. As you scratch off the numbers in your twenty number bank, you scratch them off in the lines, and you hope for the best.

Now the reason i've got beef... is this. They gave me false hope. On both of the tickets, i was one number away from winning the jackpot. That was potentially two times fifty thousand. It's like i was the fish and they were dangling that big juicy worm right in front of my face. But i guess that's how they get everyone else to bite, right?

As for now, i'm pretty sure I won't be a big time gambler anytime soon. I've come to appreciate the amount of time i need to work for my money quite a bit, too much to just throw it away.

My older brother went to the casino last weekend, and actually came out 80 bucks over! I'm pretty impressed. I get too excited over things to be able to keep a cool enough head to gamble properly. I'm one of those people who get so excited over one win that i'd throw a thousand on the table in hopes of another big one. Good thing my brother's not like me. Calm and cool's the way to go.

I guess gambling is pretty much all about knowing when to quit. Sometimes, it's cutting your losses, and sometimes it's about calling enough, enough. Even though too much of it is most definitely a bad habit, it seems like there's a lot to be learned from gambling. A lot of times, i really wish that i had better self control.

One of these days, maybe i'll just get lucky and win the 649. Oh what i wouldn't do with 67 million. I know the first thing would be to grab a venti peppermint mocha and a mint brownie at starbuck's without feeling guilty. That would be nice.

For all of you, good luck with any gambles you encounter, but heed my warning. Even in those four tiny chump change scratch card games, it was hella fun.

maybenexttime.

If I Had a Million Dollars - The Barenaked Ladies.

vroomzoomvroom.

For the thousandth time.
Sorry to the bunch of you who already know the story.

A couple of weeks back i had just returned home from a long wrestling meet at which i had busted my lip, got my ass thrown all over the mat and stubbed my toe quite hard on a moronically placed step (it was probably actually me who was the moron for kicking it. badjustin.). Furthermore, on the bus ride home, i was subjected to long rants from a person who will remain unnamed about their various ex-girlfriends who (sorry, but it's true. mybad.) probably do not exist and therefore do not interest me. That on its own really wouldn't have bothered me that much, but having already had a pretty bad day, and being tired as hell, requiring vast amounts of shut-eye... iwaslivid.

When i parked my unreliable car on the driveway, i realized that one of the others was gone. And so i assumed that one of my parents were out. I was half right. I quickly realized due to the lack of delicious scents wafting my way from the kitchen, computerized gunshots and dramatic voices announcing a KILLING SPREE, that both of my parents happened to be absent. The first thoughts that went through my mind were:
1.
ohnoes.i'mnotgoingtohaveahugetastydinnertomakemefeelbetteraboutgettingmyasskickedtoday.
2.
ohnoes.i'mnotgoingtohaveagamingbuddyintheofficeforwheni'mplayingdota.
Fortunately, i am quite a trooper and i survived without them (i ate cereal for dinner. notacook.).

I guess i was too busy beating myself up for having done craptacularly at the tournament, or too involved in my game of dota to ask myself what exactly my parents were up to. In my mind they were just "out".

All of these things just kind of built up a quite down and depressed mood for me, and just as i was headed off to bed, my parents came in the door, with huge grins on their faces.

"Justin, we bought a car. Automatic, Mazda3sport."

umm...

Funny how a mood can just be torn to pieces in just a split seconds. I've had many moments like that before. I could be having the best of days; I just ate a cookie, i got up without feeling tired, the sun is shining... and then i get my math test back from last week. When that happens... everything else just falls away and that stupid test just consumes my mind.

or,

I could be licking away at my rolo caramel chocolate swirl sugar cone, i'm watching an episode of DBY, Rainie is smiling away... and then i drop the stupid ice cream on the floor.

Bliss turns into pissy quite quickly, but apparently, as proven by that day, pissy can be reverted to bliss as well.

"weboughtacar."

It took me about a full half minute to register that sentence in my mind. And even when i did, i heard it like this:

"weboughtYOUacar."

I was most definitely not expecting this surprise considering the crappy day i was having, but all those negative thoughts and worries were shredded up in an instant by this new arrival. After a bit of inquiry, i found out that my parents hadn't planned on buying the thing that day either. Musta been some really good salesman there, my father isn't easily swayed.

So i drove the car for the first time on monday. I tell you, for someone who's been driving a van that's as old as him (that's right, a 1991 Toyota Previa. mytrustyvan.), driving a decent car feels like you're floating on a flying nimbus cloud. Except this one had a gas pedal. It's a shame though, that the shiny, shiny exterior got all caked in slush and dirt. damnyouwinter.

I was originally gonna throw this post up the day after the news, but my dad had this great idea; that he wouldn't tell my sister or brother about the car, and let them find out themselves when they go into the garage. So, for fear of one of the two stumbling upon this little post and ruining the whole shabam, i just waited.

You should have seen their faces when they saw the car. Neither of them had a look of surprise like you'd expect, but more one of confusion. One that said "what the hell is that thing doing in our garage? but ohh... it's sexy."

that'sit.

Song: Shut up and Drive - Rihanna

chapterone.revised.

Chapter 1: Abandon

She sat in silence. The only sound was the piercing crackle of the fire before her. The flames danced like miniature crimson whips in the night, softly illuminating her young, tired face. At first, she was still, but finally she let loose a great sigh, willing the sorrow to exit her body.

The old iron gate that lay at the foot of the mountain was one of the two entrances to the village, its opposite border leading into the desert. On either side of the gate, a living wall of great oaks and vines spanned outwards beyond the reach of the eye, impenetrable by anything larger than a squirrel. In the tops of the trees ran multiple planks of wood tied down by thick cords, creating an intricate network of lookouts and posts. Ropes and vines were knotted here and there to allow mobility between the different levels of the network.

She glanced behind her through the open gate into the village, as if to verify that it was deserted, but she already knew she would find no one. It was wonderful, but saddening to see the village, that was usually teeming with energy in a state like this; completely empty and abandoned. Old barrels lay on their sides, doors were left open, broken crates littered the dirt street. And nothing moved. It was as if time had stopped.

Just hours earlier, it was children that had filled the streets and cats and dogs that were lain on their sides, their tongues suspended from their mouths, panting in the heat of the fine summer day. But the peace had been interrupted by the scout who ran like a wildcat through the open gates and into the village, searching frantically for the mayor. When he finally found him, he relayed his message as best as he could, being breathless from journey.

“I’ve come from the valley post. We’ve sighted a team of Gor making their way over the far mountain top. They are heading in our direction!”

Immediately a council was called into meeting and the elders of the village congregated in the city centre. Around them, the people buzzed with confusion, speculating at what could have occurred to require a council. The mayor took his spot, standing upon the gigantic tree stump, towering above the people that looked to him for answers. He took a moment, and then addressed the crowd with a booming, commanding voice.

“The Gor from the West are heading towards us. They are unfamiliar with our terrain, and were seen a far distance off, so, the mountain and forest will slow their advance, but we are still left with only hours before they will arrive here. We cannot stand and fight. Our only option is to flee to the east. We do not have much time. Gather only what you need and we will leave immediately..”

She looked to the hills, where a ripple of movement was passing quickly through the trees. But the wind was not blowing. Suddenly the realization set in. They have arrived she thought to herself as tremors of fear shot through her body, shaking her to the core. She reached for her lance and took hold of it. The cool steel slipped comfortably into her grasp. With her lance pointed the night sky, she looked to the mountaintop, ready.

Song: Lies - Billy Talent

firstmeet.

Butterflies, shivers, lip-biting, pre-game rituals.
And i'm still a little rusty.

Tommorow is the first wrestling meet of the year for me, and by the looks of it, it's probably going to be one of very few that i will be going to all year.

Unfortunately for me, i already get really antsy about all meets that i go to. This one being the first and one of the few makes it all the more daunting. Honestly, i could barely think about anything else all day long, nothing broke my trance, not the lack of chocolate i had at lunch (which would normally be traumatic. yahsrsly.), not the boring, boring french class assignment.

If you had paid close attention to me today (which i'm glad no one actually did. thankgoodness.) you would have seen me biting me lip, biting my nails, biting my skin, biting nearly everything except for my hair, which i woulda bitten had it been long enough. My knee bounced violently, my eyes were vacant, my hands were shaking, and my voice cracked about a hundred times.

I admit, i'm a bit hard on myself when it comes to certain things. Wrestling just so happens to be one of those things. It's one of the things i'm most proud of. I think it's mostly because it's a skill that most people don't have, and so being a decent wrestler, it makes me feel even just a little special. Furthermore, as Glenn once said to someone to describe my relationship with wrestling (i forget who. ohwells.), wrestling is my escape. There are few things in my life that help me just forget everything. When i'm wrestling, i'm so concentrated, so focused that everything just falls away.

So, i am very hard on myself about wrestling. If i get beaten by someone whom i know i could have beaten, if i try a move and fail, if i win for a stupid reason, it keeps me up at night. And that's no joke. The moment just plays over and over again in my mind. And until i can figure out what i could have done differently to change it, it just keeps going. Then the thought of what i could have done haunts me.

So right now, i'm just doing my best to keep my nerves down. I'm relaxing, playing piano, guitar, DOTA, drinking coffee, tea, pop, eating ice cream, and obviously blogging. It's helping. I'm still nervous and everything, but you do what you can right?

Well, here's hoping for the best for tommorow .

pleasepleasedowelljubs.

song: In the Sun - Arthur something.