Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Odd Ones.

Noah turned to his brother Eric in the tree they had just climbed to gain a vantage point over the whole park they were playing in.

"I wonder why they keep coming back."
"Who knows, but they look dangerous, maybe we should keep our distance."

Another pack of those strange animals had appeared on the luscious green grass where they had been running around earlier. They had been coming to the brothers' regular are more and more often, and disturbing the tranquility with the obnoxious snorting noises they made to each other.

"I wonder if that noise their making is even a language." thought Noah aloud.
"Probably not, i bet they just think the person who makes the most obnoxious, ugly snorts will be the alpha male." Chortled Eric.

The brothers watched as the strange animals came to a stop and dropped themselves onto the bed of grass. They really were a strange breed. Only a thin coat of fur covered their bodies, exposing their pale pink skin, which stretched generously over their large frame. Their beady eyes moved constantly, and seemingly unfocused while nearby, their mouths opened and closed repeatedly to emit a string of snorts.

The brothers were captivated by the animals and their odd ways. They were scared. Not because the animal's looked rather threatening, in fact, they were rather clumsy. But they were such an incredibly alien, awkward species that the brothers couldn't help but want to stay far away.

Eric thought quietly to himself for a short while before recounting, "I remember one of my friends heard from his mom a couple stories about those creatures... He even told me what they were called before, i just forgot it. Did you know that at night they're dirty and disease-ridden? They're always in such close contact with each other that whenever one of them gets sick, all of them do. I don't think we should let them get near us."
"That's really disgusting. I don't like looking at them, but i really can't look away. Maybe we should start getting back home, Mom must be getting worried."

As they were walking, Eric and Noah both took a last double-take look at the pink monstrosities which had started to play fight with each other.

Eric couldn't help but to remark one more time. "Gross, i can smell them all the way from over here. Do you see the way that they try to run after each other? They're pathetically slow, really. It's a wonder they don't fall over more often hobbling along like that... oh yeah, i just remembered what my friend said those nasty animals were called... humans." The two squirrels gracefully pranced their way home.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


October 7th. Exactly one month from the day that classes started. As far as lecture hours go, i'm pretty sure this would be just past the 100 mark. And then there's tutorials, labs, and study groups. That's a lot of school.

I say this, not for sympathy, but just to give a grasp at a length of time, because, i think that it's just about now that i'm getting used to university life. Now that i've been through multiple weeks of university courses, and that i'm approaching midterms, i've fallen into that repitition pattern, and now what used to be a whole new world, feels a little more fitting and comfortable.

I'm doing well in my courses, not for lack of pain, sweat and tears, but nevertheless, i'm coming out on top. My attitude towards the workload is changing to a much more positive aggressive, and the few hours of sleep are taking less of a toll on my days (i still fall asleep when Mr. Monotone lectures).

It took a while, but now i know i'm going to survive, and more than that, i'm having a really great time. Studying, unlike in high school is nearly enjoyable nowadays, i don't know if it's just that i'm more interested in what i'm learning, or that it's a hell of a lot less structured, but i never used to have this kind of initiative. I've gone to Gernstein library study areas at least once a day for the past week. It's like my home away from home, except i'm actually allowed to talk. Something else that's also happened once a day is me getting yelled at in Gernstein study areas because me and my STUDDYBUDDYS (i like that :D) are a little too excited about learning, and can't contain ourselves. So the really serious quiet studiers like to come by and give us a piece of their mind.

For some reason, it's always the six foot tall 200 pound white males who are telling us the shut the *inappropriate word* up.

The only thing that's not quite jiving with me about university is those sausage stands, chinese food trucks, and french fry servers that are nearly everywhere. They're preying (props nikko) on us poor, weak, self-control-lacking students at every corner. I've survived so far, but i swear they're blowing the fried-food smell my way deliberately.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009


I forget how, but i recently came across this blog called "Post Secret"

This blogspotter simply publishes secrets that readers send in to them on the back of a postcard. Simple, and effective.

It's interesting the kinds of confessions you can get from people as soon as they know its anonymous. Soon as people realize that no one will know it's them, they're glad to pour out their deepest darkest secrets. But the average person would be embarrassed to stand up at a karaoke bar. It's pretty remarkable how many people have sent in, and how much effort they've put into their post cards. It almost seems a bit ironic, seeing as no one will even know it's them.

I need to clarify, it sounds like i think negatively of this blog. On the contrary, i very highly respect what this author has created. And how the readers respond to it, embrace it, and keep it going. It's really cool.

Check it out.

Thursday, September 24, 2009


People are really small.

I had lecture this morning in Con Hall today, meaning that my class had about 1,400 people in it... give or take.

Unfortunately for me, like always, the lecture wasn't heading in a particularly interesting direction (we were learning how to cooperate as a team, or something along those lines. I'd almost rather do real work than have to learn about team work.). Furthermore, it was progressing pretty slowly. I looked at the projector screen maybe once every two minutes, and i still didn't miss any of the content.

This all lead to me being quite bored. So i amused myself.

I've always had a fascination with people's little physical habits. When i'm at wrestling practice teaching a move, at church serving on altar, or counselling a summer kid's camp, i always catch myself staring at the crowd of people and just taking in the crowd as a whole.

I don't really know how to explain it, but when you look at something, you're really only percieving that one thing, and everything else that you see, even though you see it, it's all just background. Because you're focused on that one thing.

In Con Hall today, i was sitting in one of the upper levels, and so with all the hundreds of people below me, i stared, unfocused, and there was a perpetual sea of movement.

At any given time while i was amusing myself with this, at least twenty people of the hundreds would be moving. Whether it was them raising their head, craning their neck, playing with their hair or nodding off to sleep, there was never a second of break in the constant movement.

And i kind of had a personal poetic moment. If I were to be staring at one person during this time, most of the time, they're actually not moving. But because i was looking at this huge crowd, of hundreds of people, there was always activity.

It was like hundreds of ripples on a small pond. Very cool.

There are so many people out there. And i still don't think i can even accurately percieve just how many people there are, and how small i am in the world. In my class of one hundred people, i feel small and unnoticed by the prof as i discreetly nibble away at my sandwich. In my larger class of 1,400 people, i can sleep in a contorted position and drool puddles and no one would say a word. All of these 1,400 people belong to the engineering department of U of T, and there are still another 600 or more engineers in the faculty, meaning there's over 2,000 of us. That's just the engineering faculty. In first year at U of T, accross all the disciplines, i bet there's at least 5,000 students. Multiply that out by four years, and you have 20,000. Consider that there are many more students in the university for post-grad degrees and you have even more. And then there's maybe 10 other major universities in ontario, plus colleges. And then accross Canada, North America, the Western Hemisphere, the World. The numbers are already beyond me, and i'm only talking about university students here.

As of september 23rd the world's population has hit 6.786 billion people. In my head, that number doesn't translate into an actual perception of how many people that is. I just know it's a hell of a lot.

All of a sudden, i don't feel like such a hot shot any more. I don't feel like i'm the center of the world like i admittedly do sometimes. But i'm not trying to be depressing.

It humbles me, but i like it.

Summary/Realisation: I'm really freakin' small.

Monday, September 21, 2009



Chem is my least favourite subject.
Every time a go to a lecture, there's about one or two slides that i can actually say i'm interested in, but in the sea of hundreds of slides, that's not a very impressive number.

Not to mention that i'm convinced the prof is TRYING to put me/the rest of the class to sleep. I mean really now... do you HAVE to read out the equation that you just put up on the projector? Every single variable and subscript? We can read thank you very much, your redundancy is not in the least bit constructive.

I wonder if i've grown to detest chem as a result of the experiences in chem i've had over the past two years because of a certain two teachers *ahem*. It's possible. Or maybe, as i continue to pursue the subject (not as a result of my own enthusiasm, i assure you) I just continuously discover the vast amount of information that i could never find interesting.

Buut, i'm getting through it... painfully slowly.

Oh no, i just realized that i'm already ranting about this course when i've only had four lectures/one tutorial.

I'm a university student now, be ready to hear me complain more and more :D

Thursday, September 17, 2009


I had that song stuck in my head today, and for the life of me i could NOT get it to go away.

And then out of nowhere, it stopped playing as just a tune in my head... and i actually heard the lyrics as words instead of some musical jumble.

A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us "no"
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming.

The first thing that struck me was that the lyrics are incredibly cliche and cheesy... Yet i haven't grown tired of this song which has stuck with me since i was 4.

Secondly, and a little more significantly, i noticed that those five lines are pretty applicable to where i'm at right now.

Just two weeks ago, i was sleeping soundly in my comfortable bed, with those familiar four walls and my organized chaos of objects littering the floor. I was sleeping in every day, and doing nothing but enjoying the last couple of days that i would have to just do that... nothing.

Now, i'm living in a room one quarter the size of my old one, in a never-sleeping city that reeks constantly of mystery-odour, and surrounded by an army of unfamiliar faces.

Although i'm sure it sounds like it, i'm not complaining. I'm actually having a really great time in my "whole new world". Yet sometimes, it's nice to have something around that's familiar. So, last weekend when i went home for a visit, and i was all chipper to get back to my own familiar room, i was flabbergasted when i saw that kevin had moved all of my crap out, and claimed his territory. My room is now his.

Oh, and i'm not mad Kev, you more than deserve that room, since it is bigger than yours, and i'm not living there anymore. But, now i'm kind of stuck in a bit of a limbo. My new home doesn't quite feel like home yet, and when i go home, it doesn't feel like home either because my room no longer feels like my room. So i have this constant unnamable emotion that is best described as me just feeling lost.

I'm sure that i'll be get used to this place soon enough, and then this closet that i'm typing this blog out of, is going to be like my new niche in the world. But for now, i'm still feeling that tiny bit of uneasiness.

All of that aside, university life is amazing. It feels awesome to be on my own agenda. With no one hounding on my every move. I get to take classes in real pretty buildings, and there's a ton of clubs/teams/services all available to me. Not to mention the people are (for the most part) extremely nice.

Oh how i love aladdin.

Friday, July 31, 2009


Well it's only been like two months since i last blogged...

A couple hours ago, i was just sitting at home, not knowing what i was going to do with my weekend, when my dad popped the idea to spend a couple nights downtown. We called up the older of the sibs, and they were down for it, so within a couple hours, we were all together in toronto.

Unfortunately, everyone kinda had different ideas of what a night in toronto actually means, so the 2AM chinese food outing that i was looking forward to became an impossibility since my parents were snoozing within half an hour of walking in the door of the condo.

Jason came ot the rescue.

"Wanna go take a look around u of t? i'll show you where the engineering buildings are"

I was pretty tired, and i was going to say no, because i haven't had more than 6 hours of sleep for the past week, but he kept insisting that it would be fun, so i gave in. Kevin decided to tag along.

After showing me ONE engineering building (The mineral engineering building, which wasn't particularly mindboggling), he swiped his card in the entrance of some shady small doorway... I wondered where the hell he was bringing me.

After walking up a couple of flights of stairs, and around a couple of corners that reminded me of my run-down elementary school, we came to a set of double doors. I did not know what lay beyond them, but when Jason gave me that overly-excited face, i knew it could only be good news.

We opened the doors.

Some EIGHTY computers in one room, nearly a quarter of them filled with people seemingly working their asses off, staring intently at their screens, cursing at the difficult work at hand. Or that's what it looked like.

They were playing DOTA. And not just the majority of them... each and every single one of them was playing dota. It was like i had taken a step into a corner of heaven.

Long story short, we played a game, and I took great delight in repeatedly killing mini cartoon heroes.

After all of that, i can't help but be extremely excited about next year. I know it's not going to be anything like this, in fact i'm probably going to be almost radically different, considering the work i'll have to do... but i can't wait.

Here i come.

Sunday, May 31, 2009


Tons of anticipation,
and a wake up call.

Xavier prom 2009. I spent many, many weeks preparing myself for this mentally, physically, financially... I think i had to go shopping a total of 3 different times to end up with my actual outfit. And I bought like 4 out of 5 of the things at H&M, so i don't know why i had to go back two more times after the first...

In a way though, it's kind of understandable. Right from the get go, when they announced that tickets were on sale and that prom would be on May 29 (my birthday. andnates.), people had already started panicking, brainstorming on what they should wear, and what they should wear with what they've decided to wear. The fact the prom only happens once in a lifetime, for most people anyways, (excluding those ppl who get to go twice cause of an older gf/bf. GOLDIGGERSjustkiddin.) is probably a major contribution to the early havoc. I know it was for me anyways. All of you probably know me as one to not spend generous amounts of money on things other than food, but this was an exception. I constantly caught myself telling myself that it's okay to spend money, "it's prom afterall, might as well." (say myself again. Myself.).

So after having been lucky enough to not get rejected by Sally as a date, i set out to spend over one hundred bucks on prom (can you believe that the ticket was 80 bucks? highwayrobbery.). But i also made sure to only buy things that i would definitely use aga
in. For example, that navy blue skinny tie that i ended up getting, i'm pretty much in love with.

So they day of prom, unlike any of the girls i know who started getting ready at like 3 am (which obv. paid off cuz they looked really good. reallygood.), i started getting ready at like 1 pm, and left the house at 2 pm to go and grab the corsage and boutonniere. Which was pretty much because i spent the entire morning attempting to cut my hair and make it look presentable. I ended up just shaving chunks off of it in the end and just cleaning up what i had ended up with.

So anyways, after picking up the purrrty white roses, i ended up at sally's house where it took us as a team about 5 minutes to figure out how to work a boutonierre. Well, how can you expect us to know how to use one if we've never used one in our life? Maybe other people are just born with the skill...

The following two hours were spent taking pictures at kelly's house, which at the time seemed extremely tiring and verging on too much, but in retrospect, was absolutely necessary and probably could have even gone longer. Because when i look back at the pictures, they make me smile a lot, and i kinda wish there were more to look at.

Man oh man, kelly's dad was so funny when he was taking the pictures, going from every angle, every type of lighting, and capturing every expression. He was the definition of a proud parent, and it was really cute and now because of him i have tons of pics to look at. Thanks kelly's dad. lol.

In case you're wondering what me and sally looked like, feast your eyes on this goodlookin pair (i'm not usually this cocky, but i think we looked pretty decent.)

Before i start talking about prom itself, i have to say that i didn't have extremely high hopes for it in the first place. I was all excited to dress up and to see everyone else dressed up, but i didn't expect the event itself to be particularly engaging for me. Which is mostly because i'm not much of a dancer/partier/clubber.

Boy was i surprised. Although the food took forever to be served and there was a bit of an awkward "what do we do?" two hour time period before the music got going, we killed the time really fast just by taking lots of pictures. Most of which i do not look prsentable in because i just don't know how to take a serious picture, but that's alright, it was fun (there's like two pictures of me with a unibrow, about 7 doing the ginyu force pose, and countless others of me making up faces, howattractive.).

Only a couple of hours later, i found myself dancing my ass off on the dance floor. Albeit, not well, but i had a ball. For some reason,i just came outta my shell and started breaking it down. At least 10 people made fun of my dancing within the hour and a half that i wiggled, shimmied, and shook it, but i never slowed down, except to take a break and grab a drink. Dancing really badly really isn't that big of a deal anyways when everyone else around you is dancing badly as well. No offense guys.

When everything died down, the ppl in my car (nikkoriasallyandi) decided to head over to Bubble Republic on Hurontario (the ol' hangout spot, soasian.), because we thought it would be funny if all of us in our formal attire were to be in the middle of everyone else in casual.

We were not disappointed.

Although ria had changed into a less formal-more-casual dress; nikko, sally, and i were all still head to toe in prom-worthy clothing. I still had on my vest-o, sally still had her nice dress on, and nikko turned on his swagger.

As we walked in the door, the whole room stopped to stare.

Hell-a-fun. I definitely recommend it if you find yourself at the end of a formal event with nothing to do, and feel like being a bit of a dork. Oh yeah, and the bubble tea itself that we had while we were there was pretty good too.

(insert here 24 hours of chillage at nathan's house, too much to even put down.)

Those two days (prom and afterparty), went by way too fast. And i didn't sleep for more than half an hour, because it was all just too much fun.

Right from the beginning, it all felt kinda like a dream. As soon as we started taking the pictures of everyone all dressed up, with their dates, and nice corsages, the first thing that i thought when i looked at all the pretty and handsome faces was: "Everyone looks amazing, i really can't believe how everyone has grown so much in just four long/short years."

And even though this still wasn't the end of the school year, or the end to anything really, i had a bit of that feeling the entire time. Or more accurately, the kinds of thoughts that people get at the end of something.

I couldn't help but think the entire time about just how much i'd come to love each and every one of my friends, acquaintances, not-so-much-friends and even those random people that you see around and school, and don't even know. Because i have spent the last four years of my life with them, going through every day with them, experiencing very similart things with each of them.

In a nutshell, i've just become comfortable with everyone. It's like for the past four years, i've been shimmying myself into that little niche, and now that i've finally found a way to sit comfortable into it, it's coming to an end.

It was really priceless, to just see everyone i know, and everyone i don't know, beaming away. When you break it down, what is prom?

It's a bunch of people in a hall with food and music.

So what was making everyone so happy, and so energetic? It wasn't the hall, becuase i don't know anyone who is particularly impressed with le Treport. It wasn't the food, because i was hearing disapproving grumbles in the tummies of everyone around me all night long, and it probably wasn't the music because no one likes the song "save a horse, ride a cowboy" (whoever you are, you're really not as clever as you think for making that one up, reallynow.).

So what was it? The people. A gathering of everyone in your grade from school really only happens once in a blue moon, or less. So when it comes to pass, the disputes, dislikes, awkardnesses, and hatreds all seem to take a backseat so that everyone can just spend a couple hours enjoying each other's company.

I'm sure everyone can relate to me when i say that at the end of the whole affair, when i got home post-afterparty, i felt like i'd been hit by an eighteen wheeler and just needed to sleep for 17 hours. But i also thought to myself "feeling THIS crappy is definitely worth it considering what i was up to for the past 24 hours".

Prom and afterparty have made me realize that there's nothing we can do about the time that passes, whether we like it or not, everyone's still going to get older, and it's going to happen only faster and faster. The only thing to do is enjoy it to the fullest, even when life hands you a pile of crap.

Oh yeah, and now i'm 18. Hands down best birthday of my life.

If you got this far, please leave a comment, let me know what you thought of the whole experience. One word, or one wall of text, i want to hear it.


Song: Thinking of You - Katy Perry

Saturday, May 16, 2009


Six out of eleven completed,
I'm almost there.

As of Thursday, i finished my math paper 3 exam. Putting an end to highschool mathematics forever. By now i am completely finished with physics and math, until we meet again in university. I'm hoping though, that all the IB alumni rumours of breezing through first year are true. As per usual, i'm skeptic.

All that remains is chem and french, and these two compared to the physics and math papers, i predict will invoke far fewer emotional breakdowns than the the latter. That mean's i'm done with the worst of it!

Because there's been a lot less class for us recently, it's meant that everyone's gotten to spend a lot more time together. Even though the majority of this quality time was spent worrying and studying, and propagating each other's nerves, it's been really nice to get to know everyone just that much more. Once again, i've noticed how anxiety can really unite people. Everyone's been pretty supportive to each other, helping each other out in their own way. It's a necessity when there's 10-13 papers to be written (Kudos to Zain. howdoyoudoit.).

So even with the pervading anxiety, joking around with people about exams and homework has been a ball.

Exams are winding down now, and there's even more down time coming with it.

Last thursday, since my little brother had to perform in the spring concert, i had to hang around so i could be his ride home. He needed picking up at 9, so i had to occupy myself between the end of school and then. So since glenn and i were pretty much the only ones not IN the concert, we just hung out for like 10 hours.

This ten was divided up into floating around Long and McQuade, just playing on every guitar and drumset we could find, being a mall rat, eating junk food, sitting on the bleachers outside and sneaking in the the music room.

It makes me feel like such a teenager.

Can't wait until everyone's done all the exams. It's just going to make way for even more time to spend with everyone. Even if that time consists of being a mall rat, or sitting around having nothing to do. Boredom isn't boring with you guys.

G'luck to everyone on their remaining exams.

Song: Fifteen - Taylor Swift

Thursday, May 7, 2009


I was almost as prepared as possible.
Apparently not.

Today was my first IB exam of eleven exams in total. Being the first, and being math, i have recently been regarding the exam as extra-important to me. I wanted to start off the string of tough exams with a bang. Plus, i've had trouble with math before, so i really wanted to prove to myself that I can do it if i try.

So, as much as i detest studying, and as hard as it is to keep myself focused for long periods of time on school work, I've been biting the bullet and digging my nose in those terrible smelling texts. When i could be blogging away, strumming away, or pwning newbs with Balanar the "Night Stalker", i exercised self control and forced myself to study.

This has been going on for a while now, because i really wanted that feeling of success.

So this morning, when i believed that i had done mostly everything i could to prepare myself, when i could do nearly every question in the review package, and actually understand why i was doing the steps, i was happy as a clam. I was under the impression i was going to go into that exam, and do decently. Maybe not ace it, but pass for certain.

Before the exam, everyone congregated in the hallway outside the library. Everyone was anxious but not scared. We were worried, but not hopeless. After all, we've spent three full semesters, a full year and a half preparing for this exam.

After recieving the exam package, i was actually excited to get started so that i could get it over with.

The exam went terribly. None of the resources available to me helped in more than a miniscule manner. All of the focuses of our three semester course were completely overprioritised by other very obscure topics on the exam paper. In no way was i prepared for the exam that i recieved.

I'm quite livid right now. I feel almost misled. I've been studying past exams for so long, workign into my mind what i should expect, and what i recieved was completely different.

And now, i don't know who's to blame for this impossible exam. Usually i'd blame myself for not being prepared, but seeing as every other math student, even the super-geniuses, have the same mentality as me right now, i honestly do not feel like it's my fault any longer. I think i prepared myself as best as i could.

Sometimes life just does not go your way.

I'll just have to deal with it.

Another math exam tommorow. Yay. this should be fun.

Song: Miss Murder - AFI